The Effect of Parental Divorce on Young Adult’s Romantic Relationships, Term Paper Example

Abstract

The issue of parental divorce and its effect on young adults has received a great deal of attention from researchers. Like other forms of research however, the results continue to elucidate different views and perspectives on the issue. This study seeks to establish the effect of divorce among young adults; with an objective of discovering whether they are capable of establishing sustainable romantic relationships. It is notable that most researches tend to indicate that parental divorce has lasting effect on young adults which impacts on their ability to maintain long-lasting romantic relationships. This view has however been challenged by other researches which indicate that individual attitude towards the parents divorce is responsible for how they relate with their future partners. Accordingly, it is possible for young adults to experience fulfilling romantic relationships even when they have experienced parental divorce.

Parental divorce carries various consequences, with most being exemplified by the psychological trauma that children go through. Effects of divorce including the changes in beliefs and attitudes towards marriage and intimacy affect an individual’s ability to establish a sustainable romantic relationship. These beliefs and attitudes are associated with the high probability of failure of intimate relationships among young adults whose parents divorced during their childhood. They tend to focus on the failure of their parents’ relationship hence leading to fear and anxiety that their relationships may fail as well. Various studies indicate that unless an individual overcomes the psychological trauma and views life in a positive way, the effects of divorce could be exhibited in adulthood and consequently affect the establishment of romantic relationships. This study concludes that the effect of parental divorce on romantic relationships among young adults depends on individuals and cannot be generalized.

Introduction

Demographic researches aimed at investigating young adults’ adjustment following family disruptions through parental divorce have instigated different views about the effect of parental divorce on young adults’ romantic relationships. Subsequent studies have indicated that parental divorce highly determines the nature of young adults’ relationships; mostly in regard to feelings of trust, conflict, commitment and intimacy. Notably, young adults respond differently to parental divorce and the ability of establishing romantic relationships therefore depends on the individual’s attitudes.

The general perception is that parental divorce leads to serious psychological effects on children such that they are likely to have negative attitudes towards their own relationships in future. There is a higher incidence of troubled marriages among young adults who have experienced divorce and a general difficulty in establishing intimate, stable and satisfying relationships. They are more likely to have doubts on their ability to have lasting relationships, which in turn limits their willingness to commit themselves in relationships.

While most studies have established that parental divorce is an impediment towards the effectual development of healthy romantic relationships among affected young adults, other studies indicate that this is not necessarily true. A number of studies have indicated that divorce may actually lead to lasting relationships among young adults whose parents have divorced. They are likely to exert more effort in sustaining their relationship so as to avoid ending up like their parents or because of the fear that their relationship will fail.

This study seeks to establish how parental divorce affects young adults’ romantic relationships. The study aims at answering the question “can young adults who have experienced parental divorce maintain romantic relationships?” The study will effectively show romantic beliefs, attitudes towards marriage, behavior and relationship characteristics among young adults who have experienced parental divorce and how they differ from young adults whose parents remain together.

Review Of Research

A number of studies have sought to establish the far reaching consequences of divorce among children; with most indicating that young adults whose parents went through divorce are less likely to have fulfilling romantic relationships as compared to their counterparts who grew up in a normal family set up. Parental divorce acts as a detriment to young adults’ capacity to love or to create committed romantic relationships.

Early Marriages That Do Not Last

Young adults are more likely to get involved in relationships and even marry at a younger age than most of their age mates. In a longitudinal study conducted by Wallerstein and Lewis (2004) over a 25-year period, it was established that young adults from divorced families often married younger and were more likely to get divorced. This was a demographic survey in which participants’ relationships were observed over a 25 year period. Their study indicated that while only 11 percent of young adults from intact families married before the age of 25, the percentage was 50 percent for their counterparts who had experienced parental divorce. Further, 57 percent of those who married before the age of 25, and whose parents had divorced ended up in divorce as well. Only 25 percent of young adults from intact families, and who married before 25 years divorced. Overall, 40 percent of the young adults from divorced families ended up in divorce while the rate for their counterparts was only 9 percent. According to Segrin, Taylor and Altman (2005), young adults who had experienced parental divorce were 30 percent less likely to be in a close relationship than those whose parents remained together. Based on this discovery, it is hypothesized that such young adults are likely to develop attitudes of insecurity, anxiety and fearfulness that may prevent them from getting involved in intimate relationships themselves.

The Effect of Psychological Trauma

Divorce is associated with serious psychological ramifications that may reduce young adults’ ability to establish and maintain romantic relationships. A study by Huure, Junkkari and Aro (2006) establishes that psychological effects resulting from divorce may be exhibited during adulthood. The study was conducted over a 16 year period and sought to investigate the long-term psychological effects of divorce on adults. Using Psychosomatic Symptoms Score to analyze psychological distress indicators, the researchers established that parental divorce had a significant effect on children and that such stress could possibly persist into adulthood. The research which obtained information from questionnaires also indicated that women were more likely to be affected by divorce during adulthood. Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004) also indicate that most children whose parents had divorced are unhappy with their current situation. They are likely to suffer a higher risk of depression and anxiety (Storksen et al, 2006; Kirk, 2002; Young and Ehrenberg, 2007). The family breakup significantly affects children psychologically such that they may develop difficulties in maintaining social relationships. This is reflected in their attempts to get into intimate relationships.

Fear of Intimacy

Fear of intimacy has been identified as one of the issues affecting young adults who have experienced parental divorce. This is mostly associated with the fear of going through similar experiences with their parents. Platt et al (2003) note that this is more common among individuals whose parents’ conflict was triggered by infidelity; such that they fear their partners may turn out to be the same. It is widely accepted that children gain the longest exposure to marriage as an institution through their parents. It therefore follows that a strenuous relationship is likely to create negative attitudes about marriage and relationships on the children, which may be reflected in their lives once they are finally ready to start relationships of their own. Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004) note that unlike children who are brought up in intact families and who wish to emulate their parents’ happy marriages, children of divorce tend to keep worrying that their marriages will be dysfunctional and unfulfilling like those of their parents. According to Wallerstein and Lewis (2004), uncertainty about the achievement of long-term happiness in a relationship was reported to be quite high among individuals whose parents have divorced. Even where relationships were successful, a general sense of anxiety and unease was common, besides foreboding on the possibility that the relationship may not last.

Attitudes and the Social Learning Theory

Young adults who have experienced parental divorce exhibit difficulty in handling relationship and marriage conflict. This is mostly attributed to childhood experiences where the period preceding parental divorce was characterized by violence between parents (Platt et al, 2003). Such young adults are likely to react in the same manner; an aspect that can be explained through the social learning theory. The social learning theory put forth by Albert Bandura in 1986 puts forth that individuals learn behavior through observation, imitation and experiences they go through. In a similar manner, children of divorce may acquire undesirable attitudes and behavior following observation of their parent’s relationships (Segrin, Taylor and Altman, 2005). The actions and reactions observed from parents lead children of divorce into developing personal ideals and beliefs about intimacy and romantic relationships (Young and Ehrenberg, 2007). Such observations, behaviors and attitudes in most cases influence future relationships, such that the same kind of negativity may prevail in the young adults’ intimate relationships.

Intergenerational Divorce Transmission

A phenomenon known as intergenerational divorce transmission has evolved following extensive research on the effect of parental divorce among young adults. Stastna longitudinal study of the Czech Republic in 2007 establishes that the future life course of an individual is highly influenced by their childhood experiences. As a result, individual beliefs and attitudes are affected following parental divorce and these are more likely to be transmitted to future generations. Negative behaviors and characteristics are likely to be modeled following the observation of parents’ marriage relationships and divorce. The same is therefore likely to be passed on to children of the young adults when they get married such that the transmission continues. According to Segrin, Taylor and Altman (2005), individuals who have experienced parental divorce are likely to be less hesitant to divorce. They see divorce as an option to end marriage as opposed to children whose parents stayed together throughout their childhood. The latter may be tolerant to unsatisfactory marriages because they seek to emulate their parents by keeping their marriages intact. Young adults who have experienced parental divorce however may quickly settle for divorce as an option to a troublesome marriage, following what they observed from their parents.

Possibility of Intimate Relationships

Exceptional studies have defied the notion of negative effects of parental divorce on young adults by putting forth that the ability of forming intimate relationship is not correlated to parental divorce. This was established in a study by Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004), in which they conducted a survey on 330 college students using questionnaires. Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004) cite Kelly and Emery (2003) who concluded that 75-80 percent of young adults and children do not go through major psychological problems and have achieved their life goals, which include the establishment of fulfilling relationships. In their study, Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi established that more students in their study sample whose parents were divorced maintained longer relationships than students whose families were still intact. Results indicated that while 43 percent of students from intact families confirmed that their longest relationship lasted less than a year, only 25 percent of students whose parents had gone through divorce fell under this category.

The possibility of maintaining strong and intimate relationships among young adults whose parents have divorced is also exhibited by a study conducted by Shulman, Scharf, Lumer and Maurer (2001). According to Shulman et al (2001), individuals do not only focus on painful past experiences but also on the possibility of making the future better than the past. As a result, young adults who have experienced divorce are likely to focus on the search of new perspectives in life through acknowledging change and acceptance of what they cannot change. Shulman et al (2001) relate this kind of positive adjustment to the attachment theory which maintains that representations of past experiences are controlled by principles of organization which help people to deal with past trauma. The opposite is true for individuals who dwell on past experiences and fail to come to terms with reality; such that they keep remembering the divorce details and consequently fail in maintaining sustainable romantic relationships. The experience of divorce in certain circumstances triggers young people’s desire to avoid going through a problematic relationship as their parents did. Further, they may want to keep their children from going through the same traumatizing experiences they went through when their parents divorced. Consequently, they are likely to exert more efforts into preserving their relationships and may actually end up having more fulfilling relationships than young adults who did not experience parental divorce. In their study Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004) hypothesized that the trauma experienced by students whose parents had divorced was responsible for the student’s desire to maintain their own romantic relationships.

Divorce as an Opportunity for Renewal

Divorce can be conceptualized as an opportunity for renewal and not necessarily a harmful occurrence. This is more so where the marriage caused more emotional suffering and where parents are better off divorced. According to Shulman et al (2001), maternal re-marriage leads to higher levels of intimacy, friendship, passion and stronger romantic relationships among young adults. This is because a mother’s remarriage and consequent fulfilling relationship sends a signal that divorce may carry new marital possibilities. Negative perceptions and attitudes towards marriage may therefore change considerably such that the young adults may anticipate the formation of intimate relationships.

Differences in Effect of Divorce Among Individuals

The effect of divorce on young adults differs significantly among individuals. While some are severely affected, others easily get over the experience. This is mostly influenced by the kind of relationships that the individual experiences and their nature of approach towards their parent’s divorce. For young adults to succeed in their own relationships, they must accept that their parent’s lives are not a precursor of their own lives.  According to Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004), the effect of parental divorce is likely to be mitigated where young adults get married to supportive spouses. As a result, they may not necessarily have unfulfilling romantic experiences. The effect of parental divorce is correlated to gender (Storksen et al (2006). The study by Storksen and associates indicates that the anxiety and depression tendencies were more likely to be higher among adolescent girls than boys. Age is also a determining factor in the effect of divorce on children because strain reactions are likely to erode with time.

Conclusion

The above discussion establishes that parental divorce plays a significant role in young adults’ romantic relationships. This may be both positive and negative. Psychological trauma following parents’ divorce and consequent worries on individual ability to maintain a relationship highly influences a person’s aptitude of forming intimate relationships. It is notable that such psychological trauma could last even into adulthood thus limiting a person’s ability to maintain intimate relationships. The fear of experiencing relationship failure exhibited in parental relationships could affect an individual’s ability to get intimate. Notably, this is more common where divorce was caused by infidelity such that a young adult may doubt the trustworthiness of their partners. As a result, such young adults tend to shy away from commitment.

Divorce does not always result in negative effects on young adult’s ability to maintain romantic relationships. The study by Knox, Zusman and DeCuzzi (2004) and Shulman et al (2001) indicate that young adults whose parents have gone through divorce do not necessarily suffer set-backs in establishing romantic relationships. As a matter of fact, they may experience better relationships than their counterparts whose parents have not divorced. This is because they are likely to be more committed towards maintenance of their own relationships and hence avoid going through what their parents underwent. Such findings demystify the common notion that young adults whose parents have divorced are not capable of establishing lasting intimate relationships. This is further supported by the fact that individuals do not suffer in the same manner as a result of their parents’ divorce.

A thorough scrutiny of the research review indicates that attitudes basically determine young adults’ ability to establish romantic relationships. The social learning theory has been used as reference to explain why young adults may be unable to maintain romantic relationships. This is because what they observe in their parent’s relationships could determine how they handle their future relationships. This may partly explain elements of conflict that may be exhibited in their own relationships. The social learning theory may essentially be responsible for the intergenerational divorce transmission identified in the study. Young adults are likely to imitate undesirable behavior observed in their parents’ relationships; thus developing poor attitudes towards romantic relationships and intimacy. This may be reflected in their own relationships which may later be passed on to future generations. The effect of parental divorce can however be handled through the attachment theory as suggested by Shulman et al (2001). By overcoming past trauma, young adults can effectively establish their own intimate relationships without being affected by their parents’ experiences. Such an occurrence however is only possible where individuals adopt a positive attitude towards life.

Having reviewed different findings and implications of parental divorce on young adults’ intimate relationships, it is justifiable to conclude that individual reactions to parental divorce determine young adults’ ability to maintain a romantic relationship. The common notion that divorce always leads to negative consequences on young adults’ romantic relationships is therefore unjustifiable. While it is true to say that young adults who have experienced parental divorce are likely to have problems in establishing sustainable romantic relationships; it is also true that such young adults are capable of having fulfilling relationships, which could even be more fulfilling than those of young adults with no experience of parental divorce. In conclusion, the effect of parental divorce on young adults is quite distinct among individuals such that some one individual’s experience may highly differ from another’s experience.

References

Huurre, T., Junkkari, H., & Aro, H. (2006). Long-term psychosocial effects of parental divorce. Eur Arch Psychiatry Clinic Neuroscience, 256 (4), 256-263.

Kirk, A. (2002). The effects of divorce on young adults’ relationship competence: The influence of intimate friendships. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 38 (1), 61-89.

Knox, D., Zusman, M., & DeCuzzi, A. (2004). The Effect of Parental Divorce on Relationships with Parents and Romantic Partners of College Students. College Student Journal, 38(4), 597-601.

Platt, R. A., Nalbone, D. P., Casanova, G. M. & Wetchler, J. L. (2008). Parental conflict and infidelity as predictors of adult children’s attachment style and infidelity. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 36 (2), 149-161.

Segrin, C., Taylor, M. E., & Altman, J. (2005). Social cognitive mediators and relational outcomes associated with parental divorce. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22 (3), 361-377.

Shulman, S., Scharf, M., Lumer, D., & Maurer, O. (2001). Parental divorce and young adult children’s romantic relationships: Resolution of the divorce experience. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 71(4), 473-478

Stastna, A. (2007). The intergenerational transmission of divorce behaviour – The example of the Czech Republic and an international comparison. Czech Demography, 1, 49-60.

Storksen, I., Roysamb, E., Holmen, T. L. & Tambs, K. (2006). Adolescent adjustment and well- being: Effect of parental divorce and distress. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 47 (1), 75-84.

Wallerstein, J. S. & Lewis, J. M. (2004). The unexpected legacy of divorce: Report of a 25-year study. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 21 (3), 353-370.

Young, L. & Ehrenberg, M. F. (2007). Siblings, Parenting, Conflict, and Divorce: Do Young Adults’ Perceptions of Past Family Experiences Predict Their Present Adjustment? Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. New York: 2007. Vol. 47, 3&4, 67-85.