Acts of Kindness: Character Strength, Essay Example

For me this demonstration of signature strength was phenomenal. The five students for whom past due library debts were being paid accepted the act with generosity even though I was not expecting anything else, but a thank you. This was done overtime without allowing each person to know what I was doing. The activity was conducted on five different occasions. My daughter told me that her teacher loves Starbucks drinks and this I thought was a great opportunity to show my appreciation through this kind gesture and supplementing it with a thank you card to avoid any suspicions.

The clothing and book collection/distribution was collectively undertaken by the entire family. All recipients were delighted to have both clothing and books with anticipated joy. I experienced an incredible surge of emotion and thoughts as we were handing them out. Most of them were overwhelmed with joy and happiness, but a few ignored us by shaking their heads and walking by, mockingly. As people were ignoring us, especially, women; it was traumatizing to me.

I felt as if I were not using my signature strength in conducting the activity. It was heartening however, to realize that by performing small acts of kindness people do become happier. This is widely believed, but it is still amazing to me how our small acts of kindness could make someone else’s entire day more meaningful despite a few incidence of apparent apathy. In this sense my expected outcome, to my interpretation of the activity did not demonstrate congruence at that point in time.

In analyzing the experiences gained from this activity and advice that can be communicated as lessons learnt it must be recollected that, “Character strengths are the bedrock of the human condition, and strength-congruent activity represents an important route to the psychological good life.” ¹ It would appear that my psychological good was challenged from the activity through responses of a few. This taught me that acts of kindness do not always render the responses the executors expect.

Based on this premise it can be concluded also that these acts of kindness such as paying five students’ past due library fees; purchasing my daughter’s teacher her favorite Starbucks drink accompanied with a thank you note; donating my daughter’s books and clothes to people in need are strength- congruent activities. The difficulty is often contained in differentiating the motives for these acts of kindness. Clearly, the thank you card episode donates character strength demonstrated as gratitude. It is recognizing a good in someone’s character and validating it from the graciousness of spirit.

In relation to the other acts a question often asked by the receiver is, why are you doing this; instead of just appreciating the act of kindness. This was clearly the attitude of the women who ignored us while we were conducting the book distribution. They might have been speculating the motive. Is it merely altruist behavior or the act of kindness relates to expecting something in return from the person/agency on which it is poured? Therein stands my psychological good. What is it? Is it simply to receive thank you or something more tangible?

As such, in describing the initial four acts of kindness it is important to ponder whether I, the giver believed that I was being “true to myself” when using the strength. Being true to self is applying signature strength to one’s character. Therefore, in demonstrating acts of kindness termed altruism without anticipating anything in return even if thanks do not accompany it, is demonstrating one’s true signature strength. Here is where I might have lost contact between the outward demonstration and the inward urge. This is why it is important before an attempt of doing anything to ponder whether it supports our psychological well-being.

One must also ponder how the body, mind and spirit interprets and responds to the outward action when using the strength. Do acts of kindness give me a deep feeling of justification that I am filled with energy to go on further and accomplish tasks quickly during my day? Instead, do they make me feel exhausted as though I have lost something?

For example, after paying past due library fees for five students, I may be broke for a few days, but I still feel fulfilled because I know that my needs are met by just being altruistic. It is believed by altruism practitioners that when acts of kindness are poured out sacrificially they express signature strength at its greatest point since others may not know the sacrifice, but it is felt by the spirit, which recompenses. This is why many churches preach tithing; forcing people to give sacrificially. However, most congregants do not flourish since it is not strength-congruent activity.

More importantly, it must be understood that the motivation to use strength comes from within you. Hence, no one else has to remind or persuade us to use it. Precisely, it is an attribute of our being. This can be likened to writers or professionals who practice in certain disciplines. They never get tired of performing tasks within their fields. At times they may need to take a break, which is short lived once they can return to their enjoyable because of strength-congruency.

Therefore, using signature strength in new ways increases happiness and decreases depressive symptoms. Depressive symptoms emerge from inhibiting the expression of signatures strength itself. Many times signature strengths activities forge their way into expression through difficulties. For example, the passion may arise within a person to be writer, but because becoming a police brings more income it, becomes the preferable occupation. Within the soul the act of kindness signature strength of giving away the writing gift to the world is dying Consequently, the policing job becomes laborious. There are difficulties with coworkers, supervisors, clients, communities and you may even be shot by a bandit or fired eventually. Now out of a job and injured may reinforce the signature strength of giving to the world that gift of writing. Alternatively, you can refuse and become delusional or depressed, develop heart disease, cancer and die.

“The true essence of humankind is kindness. There are other qualities which come from education or knowledge, but it is essential, if one wishes to be a genuine human being and impart satisfying meaning to one’s existence, to have a good heart.”² A good heart apart from demonstrating acts of kindness means being ‘true to self.’ Actually ‘true to self’ is the essence of humankind kindness. One must first learn to be kind to one’s self by being authentic before reaching outside towards others. This is the essence of my learning experience regarding these acts of kindness demonstrations.

Now that I have done this exercise and used these congruent-strength; demonstrating the skills I have leant tips I can give someone else to help maximize their experience include is to approaching the exercise from a space of understanding the self. The activity must be in alignment with your true self. This means you must feel comfortable table with it, be energized during the activity. Once you are exhausted know that you are out of alignment and find another way to demonstrate your signature strengths.

Notes

Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman. Character Strengths and Virtues: Handbook and Classification. (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004), 4

Dalai Lama. The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality. (NookBook-ebook, 2004), 47

Bibliography

Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman. Character Strengths and Virtues: Handbook and Classification. Oxford. Oxford: University Press, 2004

Dalai Lama. The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality. NookBook-ebook, 2006