Communication Strategies: Two Different Families, Essay Example

Mark and Cleo come from families with quite different views on women role in family life. What they both have experienced and seen in their families have shaped their perceptions of gender role. Mark subscribes to the traditional view that women are most effective when they take responsibility of home affairs where as Cleo is progressive in her values and believes that women have both the right and the ability to excel in professional careers. In addition, she believes that running home is an equal responsibility of both partners. The conflicts grew because both Mark and Cleo found their expectations broken due to different views of gender role in the society.

Both Mark and Cleo possess external locus of control when it comes it comes to conflict management. They both see themselves as victim and believe that the conflict arises due to an irresponsible behavior by the other person over which they have no control. The negative behaviors Mark seems to engage in are criticism, self defense, and contempt where as negative behaviors portrayed by Cleo are self-defense, contempt, and sarcasm. They also engage in conflict avoidance behavior until one of them is forced to address the situation. They appear to have come to the terms that they both are not going to change.

Their tendency to engage in positive behaviors is almost nonexistent. They rarely appreciate each other and agreements usually occur to end the verbal conflicts rather than through their genuine efforts to develop mutually acceptable rules. Their unhappy relationship is the outcome of negative behaviors rather than the other way around. Stonewalling is a mutual strategy for both Mark and Cleo in between the conflicts. Even if the dishes continue to pile up in the kitchen, none of them would take action while silently hoping that the other person would do something about it. Both Mark and Cleo consider each other self-centered (Cupach & Canary).

In order to effectively manage their conflict, both Mark and Cleo need to develop internal locus of control when it comes to relationship. They need to believe they can solve their problems and find common ground. In addition, Mark also needs to realize that the times have changed and gender roles have evolved as well. His unrealistic perceptions are also making conflict resolution difficult.

Both Mark and Cleo need to sit together, discuss their expectations, and create a plan to achieve their common goals. Stonewalling is not the solution and the problems will keep occurring unless they are resolved. Once they have resolved few conflicts, it will boost their confidence as well as their sense of control over their problems. Once they have internal locus of control, they will put more efforts in making their relationship work. By discussing their problems with each other, they will also come to understand each other’s problems better. Mark and Cleo should also control their negative thoughts about each other and instead reinforce on what they like in each other (Bowles, 2010).

Mark and Cleo had different expectations when they engaged in a relationship and they may need to revise those relationships. They may even arrange for therapy sessions with a professional who may help them adopt more realistic attitude towards each other. The therapist may also act as a mediator along the process until Mark and Cleo are confident in communicating with each other without generating negative behaviors.

References

Bowles, C. (2010, July 23). How to Solve Conflict in Marriage. Retrieved February 4, 2011, from Live Strong: http://www.livestrong.com/article/182057-how-to-solve-conflict-in-marriage/

Cupach, W. R., & Canary, D. J. Same Neighborhood, Different Worlds: A Case Study. In Competence in Interpersonal Conflict. Waveland Press, Inc.