Divorce Rates in the East and the West, Research Paper Example

Marriage provides an enriching experience for many couples through companionship, sexual gratification, financial security and the free from the single life stressors. In addition marriage creates a stable environment for children’s growth and development and is also beneficial to the society.  On the other hand divorce brings high emotional and financial costs. Divorce forces couples to split up their families, lives and belongings a very unhappy experience. It will be agreed that modern western cultures have made the society permeable to divorce .This is seen all over including the mass media  with TV movies and shows common fodder being divorces and remarriages. The most recently compiled statistics of divorce gives important information about the state of families in the western world.

Western countries have maintained divorce rate at 50 for the past decade for first marriages with the statistics becoming more depressing for second marriages. 65% of second marriages have ended up in divorce with the rates rising for third marriages and beyond. The statistics of divorce rate show that up to 5 % of marriages breaking yearly resulting to the large portion of divorced adults. Families with children contribute the biggest percentage of the breaking marriages. According to statistics two thirds of these breaking marriages have small children in their homes with two percent households being led by single fathers and over nine percent under the management of single mothers. This means that more than ten percent of   households in the western world are under the management of overburdened single parents (Divorce Rates in America and Other Western Countries).

Divorce rates in the western cultures are higher than in eastern cultures.  In India marriage is considered a life time affair and the rate of divorce is estimated to be as low as 1.1% compared to that of the United States which has gone as high as 50% (Web).This is because the focus of marriage is different between these two cultures. In making marriage considerations westerners give more focus on the physical aspects and hence are obsessed beauty, sex and love, among other physical attributes. Consequently people marry based on these considerations and therefore easily get disillusioned with one another.  Eastern cultures in contrast practice arranged marriages which put more emphasis on practical aspects like humility, diligence, integrity, generosity and ambition among others. Practical reasons form the basis for people to get married and thereafter they try to build affection. In arranged marriages ,the spouses  first know each other on practical level with the trivial issues coming later and As a result, western  marriages are more  long-lasting compared to Western marriages which  view  arranged marriages as  uncivilized ,backward and primitive .

In eastern cultures many endure in their marriages because they define success differently from what the Western ideas present. For example traditional Indians believe that what bonds husband and wife is the family roles which are complementary as well as dependability and reliability and do not believe in a partner being a combination of soul mate, lover and best friend . Communication in inmate ways may be limited and the marriage still succeeds. The following factors explain the rampant rise in divorce rates in the western cultures:

The more lenient laws in the western countries have contributed to the increased divorce rates .These laws have seen many states offering a no-fault divorce making it is cheaper and than traditional divorce. With both side required to present a legal attack or prove fault on their spouse, signing papers remains the only block from freedom and therefore many spouses consider marriage dissolutions the way out of marital unhappiness (Cleek M. & Pearson T. p 179-183)
The increase in dual career families is another contributing factor to the elevated divorce rates in western cultures. Two careers is an additional burden on a couple. The wife may often feel burdened by the disproportionate work in the house and childcare. With the husband feeling neglected by the wife who is too busy. These small issues build up to become serious marital issues which eventually lead to divorce. Couples with dual careers have better financial stand and can easily handle a divorce because they are independently unlike in South Asian culture where most women live a dependent life as they do not work and hence cannot support themselves outside marriage.

Increased liberation of women and the current shift in gender roles have also contributed to the increasing rates of divorce in the western countries. Sometime back the society requiring women to remain at home and take care of their families and the man to be the bread winner while playing minimal roles in the lives of their children. This is not the case today and couples are faced by additional burden of negotiating who to do which duties. This is causing conflicting expectations which lead to divorce due to unhappiness and stress. More over, women empowerment has led to women’s intolerance of abusive spouses and therefore marriages that might have lasted for many years despite the unhappiness are now frequently disillusioned.

Another societal factor contributing to the elevated divorce rate is individualism which is on the rise in western cultures. In the past people lived as families and as a community and the success of the community as a whole was considered very important. In the present times individual happiness is the first consideration and therefore impact of family break ups on the family and community is considered less important than the individuals right live on.

Lack of societal stigma in western cultures is a major change contributing to the divorce rates. The western culture held a negative opinion concerning divorce in the past .This faded fabric helped even unhappy marriages to last. Couples where aware that divorce would cause them more unhappiness than what they experienced in their marriages. Divorce would lead to derision and rejection from families as well as peers. This stigma is no longer there in modern times. Most divorced couples continue leaving fulfilled lives with divorce not impacting their social lives and careers. Societal stigma is still present in eastern cultures and hence the lower rates of divorce since women fear to be shunned by the society. Another factor is the rise in financial. In the recent past, even the family unit was very vital to earn the basic needs even in middle class families and it was hard for a single person to survive in the society. Divorce was a big threat not only to the society but also the survival of individual’s material (Cleek M. & Pearson T. p 179-183)

Divorce in the present may fuel future divorce across or within future generations. more future divorce within generations may be experienced because increased rates of divorce within such generation means that remarriage will take place and divorce is likely to occur in marriages where one spouse has previous experience of marriage. This is because such individuals may tend to believe that dissolution of marriages solve marital problems and the fact that they have pre-existing characteristics which make them more vulnerable to divorces.  Divorce may also be transmitted across generations .Research shows that children whose parents has had a divorce are more likely to divorce because these experience these children get from their parents divorce cause the children to develop poor relationship skills which affect their commitment to marital unions (Teach man J. p 717-729).The increasing divorce rates in the united states means many people are remarrying and that many children have seen their parents marriage end in divorce and are therefore likely to have dissolutions in their marriage a reason to the high divorce rates in the western cultures.

Effects of Divorce on Children

As the family disintegrates, the children go through periods of anger, powerlessness and grief.

The parental support is lost and the primary needs may not be a problem but the love and care given by both parents is lost.

The parent left with the children after the divorce is distracted and distressed and can not perform up to the expectation in terms of providing for the children.

Previous researchers on this subject have grouped the effects of divorce on children into three broad categories: general, developmental and life long effects. The developmental effects are further stratified according to the age at which the divorce affects the children (Wallerstein p1)

General Effects

These effects, though falling into the various strata of the developmental effects reflect no specific age specific affection of the children.

These effects include:

• Poor performance in school and interference with the academic life of the affected child
• Loss self drive and low self esteem
• Disturbed social life and ruined relationships and marriages in future

Developmental Effects

Infantile Effects (up to 5 Yrs)

Regression of milestones- the children who had began talking, walking and reached other stages of development begin to regress. This has been attributed to insufficient parental care because the caring parent has left after the divorce or has been affected emotionally such that the care they accord the children is not fulfilling.

Delayed milestones-the children of divorced parents grow more slowly compared to their normal counterparts and take longer to achieve milestones. Young kids may take up to one and half years to start crawling or standing with support while others may utter their first words when at the age of two years.

Absent milestones-other children may fail to develop some milestones all together. They may not be able to show cognitive development as assessed through building model cubes using blocks or selection of toys. There may be lost ability to conscious selection of friendly from harmful behavior.

Failure to thrive- this has been defined as poor weight gain among kids when there is adequate supply of the necessary macro and micronutrients for the age of the child. It may be because of psychological interference with the normal physiology of the kid.Disturbances in the sleep pattern-these disturbances have taken either the form of insomnia (lack of sleep) or somnolence (excessive sleep). It has been observed in children of divorced parents.

Increased yearning for the absent parent has also been demonstrated in children in post-divorce families (Hetherington p4).

Early Childhood (Juvenile) Effects (up to 11 Years)

Children in this age group are more affected by virtue of better understanding of the problems going on in the family prior to and after the divorce.

There is a marked fear of the possibility that the divorced parents may not re unite and the children and continuously disturbed. They feel there is a vacuum in the family and every time there is a visitor they figure out the other parent coming back into the family.

Psychologists have argued that these children preoccupy themselves with the hope and fantasy that the parents will soon reunite. This has been reflected in the games and other activities that these children engage themselves with.

Poor performance in school- as the children are taken to preparatory schools and kindergartens, they are preoccupied with the impact of the missing parent and lack the mental capacity to handle both class work and the overwhelming feeling. They thus are unable to perform to expectations in their school chores.

These children also portray poor relations with other peers; they are more withdraw and won’t join others for play during break time or even at the neighborhood.

These children also tend to identify with one of the parents and hate the other. Thos is based on their assessment of who between the two parents is to be blamed for the divorce. Psychiatrists have also observed an increase incidence of psychiatric disturbances in such children (Wallerstein p2)

Adolescence (Pubertal) Effects (up to 18 Years)

These are the most affected category of the children. They have an avid understanding of the goings on before the imminent divorce finally comes down.

And when it finally happens, they feel the whole impact of the divorce and are observed to suffer more of the impacts of divorce.  Depression- a number of the post divorce children in this age group have been observed to go into depression as they can’t cope with the effects of divorce. Others go into acute anxiety states and cannot concentrate on their normal duties including school. Others may require hospital admission for this. As noted below, some of these effects may persist into adulthood and become life long/chronic effects. Displaced violence- this is violence directed towards other people or even inanimate objects. The child becomes violent and abusive among the weaker peers.

Suicidal intents- sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming that some of the children develop suicidal intents and even go ahead to execute them. Other effects include fears and phobias among the children. Fear of future relationships and future marriages are other effects that have been highlighted among post divorce children. They also feel for their parents’ woes and support them. Poor adaptation to the post divorce status and psychiatric maladjustments are other effects (Furstenberg p2)

Life Long Effects

These effects persist into adulthood and continue to affect the now post divorce children. They manifest either as obvious behavioral changes or occult deficits in the personality of the affected persons. There are psychosocial and performance effects in adulthood that interfere with normal life performance. Withdrawal from social life including relationships and marriage serve as coping mechanisms for the affected. They desist from social life and at times become introverts. Low self esteem- this manifests as disbelief in oneself and shying away from responsibilities and duties. There is low self drive and future engagements are minimized to what one considers easily achievable chores. There is no audacity to try new things due to fear of failure.  Recurrence of fear and guilt and feelings of powerlessness and anger later in life also affect the grown up post divorce children. These are the very manifestations in childhood but they have been observed to occur among the adults once in a while. The grown up also grapples with the inability to make risky decisions and serious engagements in life. They always fear for failure. They feel getting into marriages will mean ending up in divorces, they are almost certain any undertakings will end up as failures in future.

Conclusion

The option of divorce through many may feel is a way out of abusing, or such other relationships that are not working out has far reaching effects especially on the children in these relationships. The children suffer psychiatric problems besides getting affected physically due to lack of parental care which often culminates into malnutrition especially in the eastern countries. The rates of divorce in the west are higher than those in the east as established in this analysis. The underlying reasons can be explained by the cultural habits as well as the prevailing economic conditions of these countries. All factors considered divorce always has greater effects on the children than adults and more so in the western communities.

Works Cited

Cleek M. & Pearson T. Perceived causes of divorce. An analysis of interrelationship. Journal of marriage and the family. 2007, 47, 179-183.

Divorce Rates in America and Other Western Countries. Web. 29 September 2009. 2 December 2009. www.divorceguide.com/…divorce…/divorce-rates-in-america-and-other-western-countries.html

Divorce Rates in India .web. 4 may 2008. 2 December 2009. http://www.divorcerate.org/divorce-rate-in-india.html

Furstenberg FF. Marital Dissolution and Childrens’ Well Being Web Retrieved 02 Dec 2009 <http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm>

Hetherington EM; Sound the Alarm Web Retrieved 02 Dec. 2009 <http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm>

Teachman J. Childhood living arrangements and the intergenerational transmission of divorce. Journal of marriage and family. 2002 16,717-729

Wallerstein, JS; Divorce Effects on Children Web Retrieved 02 Dec 2009 <http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm>