“Don’t Mind Me”: Taking a Look Over Your Shoulder, Essay Example

People need their personal space.  While the feeling does vary depending on the individual, most of us don’t like feeling crowded or intruded upon.  One of the more common examples of this social norm is the annoyance people feel when you read over their shoulder.  This is one of my own personal pet peeves, and the presence of someone reading behind you can feel like you are being invaded, as if a sense of personal privacy is gone.  As I turn the tables and commit this intrusion myself, I believe that other people will share my emotional response.  I believe that when I engage people, they will feel that sense of invasion and take action.  However, I don’t think that there will be any real confrontations.  The people will definitely move or try to make me move, but their responses will be more passive than aggressive.

My project took place at a local Borders bookstore on Saturday, November 6^th, from 2:00PM – 3:30PM.   I decided to use a sample of four individuals, spacing the intrusions out over time to avoid any suspicion from the staff.  The first subject was a man in his late 20’s browsing through the horror novels.  I stopped behind him and pretended to read another book on the shelf.  Once he became engrossed in his book, I leaned over his shoulder and started to read.  I saw his eyes dart to the side, trying to see what I was doing without turning around.  Once he felt my presence, he quickly put the book away and walked down the aisle.

Subject #2 was a group of three teenage boys (approx. 16 – 18 years old) that were looking at some graphic novels at a reading table.  I used the same method as before, pretending to read from the small stack of books on a discount table near them.  Two of the boys were sitting next to each other, and I inched my way behind them and started to read while standing over them.  The third boy sitting across from them noticed me and made eye contact with his friends, and they all looked up at me.  Making no eye contact with them, I finished reading the page they were on, and strolled off.

Subject #3 was a young woman in her thirties looking through some magazines at the newsstand.  I decided to actually engage her beforehand, so I said hello as I picked up a magazine.  She replied with a smile, and then went back to reading her magazine.  I put my magazine back and made a wide arcing path from the newsstand to get behind the woman.  I was able to stand behind her for a solid minute before she looked up and turned.  I turned away quickly to a nearby table of books, hoping that she didn’t realize what I was doing.  I sensed that she was suspicious, but since I wasn’t caught in the act she just put the magazine away and went to another section.

My final subject was a middle-aged woman looking over the self-help and life improvement books.  She was reading a book on building personal wealth, and I walked up behind her and began to read.  This time, I wanted to take things a step further, so I began to nod my head as I read and made comments like “Oh, of course,” and “I never thought of that.” The woman turned around and surprised me by striking up a conversation about the book, asking me if I had read the whole thing.  I told her that I hadn’t, but I was interested.  She told me that she had been meaning to pick the book up for some time, and that she hoped it would help her with her financial problems.  I wished her luck and moved on.

As I predicted, my first three subjects responded with a need to regain their personal space.  But the fourth subject responded differently, actually welcoming the opportunity to step outside her own comfort zone and engage a stranger in conversation.  I realized that sometimes we are so committed to being left alone that we run the risk of missing connections with one another.  This time, it was only a shared interest in a book.  Another time, being more open to engaging strangers and may lead to finding a new friend and growing less fearful about unusual behavior.

If I were to do this project again, I think that I would take more time with the subjects.  After each encounter, I think that a follow-up interview would have been helpful in understanding responses and finding common traits in behaviors.   I would also use larger, more diverse group of subjects and interviewers. I believe that there are many other factors (age, education, family background, occupation) that can affect responses. That information would help draw more honest conclusions on how we react to one another.