Effects of Divorce on Children, Essay Example

According to the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, recent studies have clearly demonstrated that divorce within a given family system affects the children of the divorcing parents in many negative ways. Of course, these negative effects are dependent on an entire range of factors, such as the ages of the children, their gender/sex and personality, “the amount of conflict between the parents” before, during, and after divorcing, and the existence (or non-existence) of support from other family members, friends, and associates within the social circles of the children (“The Effects of Divorce on Children”).

First of all, the ages of the children involved in the divorce can make a great difference in relation to the bond between the children and the parents. For a child younger than three years of age, the effects of a divorce may not be apparent, yet some studies have shown that infants do respond negatively to a divorce by loosing their appetites and acting irritable and upset. Pre-school children between the ages of three and five “frequently believe they have caused their parents’ divorce” and often exhibit a fear of being left alone on their own or even completely abandoned by the parents. Some may even exhibit aggressive behavior toward their siblings and friends and behave in a very uncooperative manner, along with signs of depression and self-anger (“The Effects of Divorce on Children”).

With children old enough to attend elementary and secondary schools, the effects of a divorce can be devastating, especially in relation to their personalities which may undergo great change. More often than not, these children will experience prolonged periods of grief, embarrassment, resentment toward their parents and siblings, a divided loyalty (usually toward one parent), and intense anger toward their parents and siblings. The most common response is rejection, due to feeling that their parents no longer love them and that their lives will never be “normal” again. These negative traits are even more intense when it comes to teenagers who almost always exhibit great anger, a fear of being abandoned, loneliness, clinical depression, and self-guilt. In many households, teenagers often feel that they have been “pushed into adulthood” and must take on the burden of caring for younger siblings (“The Effects of Divorce on Children”).

As to effects related to gender/sex, recent studies have confirmed that male children raised by their fathers and female children raised by their mothers following the divorce “may do better than children raised by the parents of the opposite sex.” Also, male children over the age of ten who live with their fathers or in some kind of joint living arrangement exhibit less aggressiveness and display fewer emotional problems than their counterparts who live with their mothers. This also holds true for female children raised by their mothers who tend to exhibit more responsibility and maturity (“The Effects of Divorce on Children”).

Overall, the negative effects of divorce on children depends to a great degree on the personalities of the children and how they cope on a daily basis with the sudden and often lifelong separation of their parents. For example, if a child possesses a strong personality and displays a higher sense of maturity for his/her corresponding age, divorce may not be so devastating; in fact, it often brings a renewed ability to fend for oneself and to view the world with a positive attitude. However, for children with weaker personalities and who exhibit emotional and psychological problems prior to the divorce, separation from their parents and the destruction of a normal family environment can be devastating and may negatively affect their future lives as adults and parents.

Bibliography

“The Effects of Divorce on Children.” University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, 2012. Web. 19 February 2012.