Genogram of Savage, Essay Example

Before completing the family genogram, I assumed that I had a good grasp of my family and the relationships amongst individuals. Through exploration and the completion of the assignment, it occurred to me that I had never really given much thought to the links or religious, socio-cultural or other aspects of my extended family. I was raised in a Christian home by my biological parents, David and Sandra (Criswell) Williams. I have one biological brother, Jarrod Williams, who is six years younger than me. We were raised in an affluent predominantly Baptist home. As a child the relationship with my parents was normal, however I was never overly close to either of them. I did have a normal relationship with my brother, which has grown into a close bond into adulthood.

I am currently married to Chris Savage and have two biological children, Kaylan and Madison Savage. Because my husband was adopted by his maternal grandmother, he believes that adoption is very important. At the age of 19, my husband found out that his sister was actually his mother. This had a lasting impact on him and this is the reason that we believe that we should give other children a chance and positive life experience. It is important to the both of us that we do our part in society and give other children a chance, when otherwise they may not have one in their current families or situations. This is especially true with the two children that we have decided to adopt, Parker and Eden. The adoption has allowed me to realize the family dynamics within my own biological family. Of our adopted children, one is special needs and the other is biracial.

My parents had a difficult time accepting and understanding, mine and my husband’s choice to adopt children with special needs as well as belonging to another race.   It made me realize the prejudice that exists in my family, especially with my parents. Applying what I have learned from class it became apparent that there is a definite cultural bias theory present with my parents. While neither my mother nor father speak that they are prejudice, and in fact even denounce the fact, they hint at the fact that there is conflict between cultural groups, through statements, comments and just in general. This became apparent to me with this adoption and while they have come to accept it, there was some conflict and misunderstandings in the beginning. My goal is to assist my parents, as well as general family in understanding that different cultures can co-exist in harmony without conflict. This conflict is without a doubt centered in and on historical theories of prejudice that are unfair and discriminatory.

While my brother and I were raised in a Baptist Christian home, I am not sure if this was passed down from my parents previous generations or not. While I am aware that both my mother and fathers families were Christians, I am not sure of the domination or practices of either side.  While it is not uncommon for religion and customary practices to be passed down from past generations, myself and husband have chosen a non-denominational Christian lifestyle. We are active in our church and believe that we should raise our children according to Christian practices, just as we both were, however we are not set on calling ourselves Baptist or any other specific denomination. I did spend 15 years in Southern Baptist student ministry and these traditions and customs were practiced by my parents, and are very important to me.

I do share Christian beliefs and links to my grandparents and great grandparents. Through the completion of the genogram, the relationship between my parents, myself and maternal grandfather was a source of contention for me. While I do have a functioning relationship with my mother and father, it is not close. There is some conflict and discord that has surfaced and very present in our current relationship. I believe that much of this is because of their prejudicial attitude, which is certainly not consistent with my beliefs or actions. The conflict is also deeply rooted in the fact that they are affluent and oftentimes believe that money is the answer to all problems or concerns. It seems to me that they feel that buying items or providing monetarily is the way to show affection or love, which is not consistent with my beliefs. As far as a tradition from my grandparents or great grandparents, I do not believe that this custom or tradition was passed down to either my mother or father. This is one of the areas that I would like to see changed within my own family structure. I also believe that the affluent lifestyle fuels prejudicial attitudes and is discouraging for accepting others of different cultures. I would like for my parents to have a better understanding of prejudice and the importance of doing away with barriers between different cultures, especially with my adopted children.

One relationship and issue that seems to be a family secret is that I was sexually abused by my maternal grandfather as a child. This apparently had been happening prior to the situation with me; however I was not aware of that until years later when I told about the situation. At the time that I told it was revealed that several other females on my mother’s side had incidents of sexual abuse.

This family history has yet to be fully addressed and has been left to influence the way that the family interacts and responds to one another. While I do have a limited relationship with my maternal grandfather it is strained, as imagined. Just as others have suffered within the family it is an unspoken rule that it is not to be addressed or brought up. There is certainly some shame, discomfort and the desire for it to be forgotten, which is consistent with that type of abuse or problem within any family structure.

As a result of my experience with sexual abuse, I have made it my personal mission to help others that have been sexually abused. The shame and negative emotions that the abuse causes can be helped by taking a stand and developing a better understanding of sexual abuse. Victims must understand that the abuse is not their fault and that they had no means to prevent it, stop it or do anything at all to provoke it. I believe strongly that families should stick together and rectify the wrongs of the abusers, so that it does not continue to happen into future generations. Traditions and customs are often passed through the generations, and unfortunately it is not only positive experiences that are passed along. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse are also commonly passed along and with my experience and the fact that I am a survivor, I can help others overcome the trauma that sexual abuse causes personally and to families as a whole.

From this genogram it is apparent that there is a strong tradition and commitment to the sanctity of marriage. In review of the four generations listed on the genogram only one couple has divorced and remarried.

My mother’s grandparents, George and Lucy Cook divorced and then both remarried others at a later date. This is the only divorce in this part of the family, which leads me to believe that each of my family believes that marriage is important and when you make a commitment, you should keep it. Apparently the beliefs about marriage and keeping a commitment are very strong traditions within our families. I was able to note that my family had religious unions for marriages and possibly that religious background is the reason for the long marriages. This is definitely something that I feel strongly about and am proud to say that my family has a long history of successful marriages.

In decoding and understanding the process of creating a genogram, one must first be aware of relationships and emotions within a family. While simply listing family members and their births, dates of deaths and marriages will detail a family history, a genogram provides different information. It details strained relationships, good relationships and issues within families as well as a means by which to quickly identify issues that may need to be resolved. It gives a clinician or an individual a place to start in better understanding the hidden or not so obvious dynamics within the family. While many of us assume that we understand and known those relationships, it creates a difference when we put them onto paper and begin drawing links between the issues. Even though it can draw unpleasant memories or emotions it is important to understand these dynamics and how they affect your life. Just as the conflict between myself and parents is not openly spoken, it does help in drawing a conclusion about why the conflict exists. The same is true with the relationship between myself and maternal grandfather. This project has helped me better understand those dynamics and better understand some of the traditions and links to other family members that we share.