Good Parenting, Research Paper Example

It is beyond any reasonable doubt that children need the support of their parents until they reach a point of self sustainability. Many parents understand this and take it as a moral obligation to meet. They will ensure that their children are secure, healthy, dress well, get the best education, and enjoy the best life can offer. However, some parents miss the point and end up intruding into their kids’ private life in the name of security and preservation for the life’s best offers. This can be attributed to factors such as lack of confidence in the child’s ability to make right decisions or “excessive love”. Parents who possess such characteristics will generally make choices for their kids and push them down their throats. I am a victim of this and I know how it feels. It makes one to loose self-confidence in life and triggers a rebellious attitude.

My parents did everything to make me happy and I really appreciated it. My early years went on smoothly but problems started emerging when some of my requests were answered with a simple ‘No’. For instance, my parents would never allow me to go out with my friends and party even after I felt ready to do so. Being seen with a friend of opposite sex would not go down well with them. This disturbed me emotionally since I felt that they were unnecessarily controlling my private life and denying me a chance to exercise my freedoms.

I believe am not alone. Some parents take control of their kids’ life to an extent of choosing careers for them. Such parents will never entertain their kids to pursue some careers which they deem unprofitable or unrespectable. This is very bad since people are created with diverse talents or gifts. I can be good in sports and poor in education whereas another person might be good in education and poor in sports. Parents should realize this and help us to nurture our talents instead of imposing big careers on us. In fact when a person pursues his or her line of interest, there is a high likelihood of him or her excelling. For example, a child with interest in tailoring might end up becoming a renowned fashion designer.

Other parents will never trust the safety of their kids when they are on their own. Such parents will ensure that at any given time they are aware of their kids’ whereabouts and with whom they are with. It is not peculiar for such parents to send drivers to move around with the kids whenever they are out. Sincerely, children especially teenagers can be responsible and do not require such monitoring. I do not imply that safety measures should be neglected but they should not intrude much into children’s private life. Teenagers need time to associate, share, and enjoy with their age mates and parents should not be worried about such meetings unless some peculiar behaviors get noticed. What they should do is to advice their children and to monitor any unusual behaviors that can raise a red flag.

Another area that many parents fail is that concerning relationships of their children with members of opposite sex. Parents do fail to understand that their children are growing both physically and emotionally and other people may become a good source of emotional support and encouragement rather than them. It is an open secret that children start developing attraction to members of opposite sex during early teenage years. At this time it is common for them to have girlfriends and boyfriends of opposite sex. Many parents see this as a bitter pill to swallow perhaps from misconceptions that the children are very young for that or that the friendship will automatically lead to sex. Teenage opposite sex relationships can be positive in improving self confidence, self esteem, studies through discussions, and the overall social life of children. Parents should therefore focus on the positive side of the matter and offer proper advice too. For instance, they should clearly teach their children the dangers of pre-marital sex and the benefits of abstinence instead of discouraging them.

Parents might fail to know their children’s partners till when the relationship has blossomed to marriage levels. Some parents have pre-conceived suitable spouses for their children and can be adamant to accept anybody less their criteria. This is among the worst things a parent can do to a child since it involves choosing a long-time life partner. The child should have the autonomy to do so and any other person should only give advice. What interests the child might be completely different from what interests the parents. Often parents launch character assassination on people they do not favor. It is good if they focused their attention on the child’s opinion in a bid to figure out why their children deem that person as the best. Parents should then celebrate the person who makes their children feel good about themselves. Again they can advice the child on how to tread carefully. At this point, I can clearly state that I do not support any form of parent-facilitated marriage.

At home also, children should be involved in decision making process. There are key decisions that affect all family members such as relocation. Some parents overlook their kids when making such decisions only to take them by surprise during implementation. Although the children might be having little to contribute, as members of the family they should be involved to at least prepare them psychologically for such decisions. Prior knowledge of decisions can enable them prepare for their outcomes. For example, knowledge of a relocation decision can enable the children prepare well for shifting from their current school.

Parents play an important role in a child’s life, that of parenting. However, in the course of doing so some compromise on their children’s private life. They see them as toddlers who can not be entrusted with autonomous decisions. Perhaps this is due to the degree of love they have towards their children and not wishing to take any risks. Nevertheless, they should accept that children grow attaining a level that they can make mature decisions. Such decisions can range from choosing their career, friends, and lifetime partners and it is good if parents only gave advice and refrained from deciding for their children. This will go along with ensuring that children grow to be responsible members of the society.