Loss, Grief & Separation, Research Paper Example

Separation and loss are inevitable life experiences.  Everyone experiences various degrees of separation anxiety throughout their lives.  The earliest form of separation anxiety occurs in infancy when a child is left alone while wanting to be held.  Crying behavior is an indicator of the child’s emotional anxiety.  As people mature, other forms of separation and loss can occur.  A family might move to another city and leave behind close friends and neighbors.  An item having sentimental value might be lost.  A person might lose a job or break up with a dating partner.  A couple might get a divorce.

All of these situations involve separation and loss.  Grief is the emotional process of dealing with these experiences.  Loss is relative in relationship to the value of that which is missed.  The degree of grief also varies in accordance with the significance of the separation or loss.  The anxiety experienced by a married couple separated for a few weeks due to an extended business trip will be far less than the grief experienced following an unwelcome divorce.

One of the most significant types of inevitable loss is death.  The grief associated with death can be a very powerful and life changing experience.  The phenomenon of grief has been examined and interpreted throughout history in poetry, prose, art, theater, academia and psychology.  One of the most well known theories about the process of grieving was developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and presented in her 1969 book entitled “On Death and Dying.”

Kubler-Ross identified five basic stages of the grief process (Chapman, 2009).  The first stage is denial.  This is basically an initial defense mechanism whereby a person does not want to admit that a loss has occurred.  The second stage is when anger erupts.  This anger can be focused on oneself, another person, God, or simply the unfairness of fate.  The third stage in the process is bargaining.  Bargaining can manifest itself in “deal-making” with God (e.g. “I’ll do whatever you want if You just…”) or in attempting to create a sustainable solution to a loss such as a divorce (e.g. “Can we still be friends?”).  In the next stage, depression is an indicator that a person has begun to accept the reality of the loss and is saddened by it.  The final stage identified by Kubler-Ross is acceptance.  This is the stage in which a person returns to some form of emotional equilibrium.

While Kubler-Ross’ book deals primarily with the grief process associated with death, the concept of grief having various stages can be applied to other forms of loss as well.  According to Harvey and Penzo (2008) the core concept of grief having various stages is fundamentally valid although it needs to be interpreted differently for loss associated with ongoing issues such as dealing with a mentally ill child.

Harvey and Penzo differentiate two types of loss.  The first type is loss resulting from a singular event such as a sudden death.  In these cases, the grief process tends to be linear.  A person goes through each cycle (or vacillates between them) over a period of time until emotional equilibrium is eventually attained.

Other losses may be experienced over long periods of time.  Harvey and Penzo’s article deals with the grief experienced by parents of mentally ill children for whom loss occurs repeatedly (e.g. behavioral outbursts, incidents that reinforce the realization that the child cannot achieve normal successes).  This type of grief is cyclical rather than linear.  Parents of such children tend to repeat the stages of grief over and over again in various degrees.  The authors point out that acceptance is the only stage that tends to be more linear, as parents gradually learn to accept their child’s limitations despite periodic episodes of anger, depression, etc.

While Harvey and Penzo’s article deals with parents of handicapped children, the principle of linear verses cyclical grief is certainly applicable to other separation or loss scenarios.  Examples of other loss situations that might precipitate cyclical grief could include the loss of a limb or eyesight, dealing with a parent with Alzheimer’s disease, or other ongoing challenges.

The “stage theory” espoused by Kubler-Ross does have its detractors.  O’Rorurke (2010) asserts that Kubler-Ross’ work is lacking in scientific facts and is based on anecdotal observations alone.  She contends that the stage theory became popular because people tend to seek controllable order in the midst of the confusing chaotic emotional turmoil associated with loss.

In 2007, Baohui et al. (2007) published the results of a three year study in which the stage theory was scientifically tested.  The study concluded that “Although the temporal course of the absolute levels of the 5 grief indicators did not follow that proposed by the stage theory of grief, when rescaled and examined for each indicator’s peak, the data fit the hypothesized sequence exactly.”

The study did make a distinction between Kubler-Ross’ definition of depression and what the study called “yearning.”  Yearning was defined as “salient psychological response to natural death” as opposed to depression which has DSM5 implications.  Yearning was identified as the most prominent emotional state during the grief process.

The authors also identified a pattern of grief relating to death that was “normal.”  Study data concluded that participants with normal grief patterns achieved a suitable level of emotional equilibrium (acceptance) in about six months.  Participants who suffered with significant episodes of depression for longer than six months were considered to have “prolonged grief disorder.”  The fundamental conclusion of the study was that people do tend to follow a certain predictable pattern of grief following a loss.

References

Baohui Z Blocl S Maciejewski D Prigerson H 2007 An emperical examination of the stage theory of grief)Baohui, Z., Blocl, S., Maciejewski, D., & Prigerson, H. (2007). An emperical examination of the stage theory of grief. Journal of the American Medical Association, 297(7), 716-723. Retrieved from http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/297/7/716

Chapman A 2009 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross grief cycle model)Chapman, A. (2009). Elizabeth Kubler-Ross grief cycle model. Retrieved from http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm

Harvey D Penzo J 2008 Understanding parental grief as a response to mental illness)Harvey, D., & Penzo, J. (2008). Understanding parental grief as a response to mental illness. Journal of Family Social Work, 11(3), . doi:10.1080/10522150802292616

O’Rorurke M 201021 Good grief)O’Rorurke, M. (2010, February 1). Good grief. The Nwe Yorker, 85(47), 66-72. Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/ehost/detail?vid=5&hid=12&sid=6a6eb369-abcc-446d-8652-83e0428f3d71%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=47735051