Love and Commitment, Essay Example

A1. Love is an intense feeling based on the rewards of involvement with another person while commitment is the decision to remain in a relationship. Love is based on mutual benefits and doesn’t necessarily involve long-term future while commitment is an assumption to stay together through both good and bad times. This is why commitment is more important for enduring relationships as compared to love. Since more is invested in a commitment than love which may or may not accompany commitment, it is also more difficult to end commitment than love. Even though commitment results in a stronger relationship, love offers more flexibility.

Love is communication in both verbal and non-verbal forms. Engaging in intimacy or giving gift to a romantic partner will be non-verbal expression while verbal communication may involve nicknames or personal codes. Communication between romantic partners may also involve talking about strengths and weaknesses of relationship as well as negotiations and conflicts. Communication in commitment also takes several forms. One form is intimate bonding in which the individuals decide to stay with a relationship for the long term because of past and present experiences as well as their feelings for each other. Another way to communicate commitment may be the decision to cohabitate or marry. Individuals in long-term commitment also develop communication rules such as agreements which may be explicit or implicit such as how to signal anger, love, or desire for intimacy.

A2. Relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman argues that at the heart of every strong relationship is effective communication, thus, she provides several suggestions to couples to increase the possibility of a healthy relationship. First of all, the partners should realize that arguments are the norm, thus, the partners should listen carefully to each other and keep their emotions in control. One requirement of good listening is to seek confirmation when the listener may suspect he/she might not have understood something. This sends the message to the speaker that the listener is engaged. One should never hesitate to express his/her emotions to his/her partner because keeping negative feelings to oneself does more harm than good in the long run (Berman).

The patners should also abstain from blaming each other and instead focus upon themselves as to how they feel or are affected by a certain action of their partner. Avoiding the blame game increases the probability of cooperation from the partner. But the partners should also realize that communication without actions has little value, thus, if they decide upon a change, they should demonstrate their commitment through real actions (Berman).

Building communication skills is important because it increases the probability of long term relationship and enables the couples successfully navigate through any hurdles life may throw at them. Communication should not only take place when there are problems but is equally important in good times. When partners show appreciation towards each other, their devotion to long term relationship strengthens. The partners should always remember that communication is not about competition or being proven right and listening is as important as speaking (Berman).

Reference

Berman, Laura. Communication to Keep Your Relationship Strong. 8 November 2012 <http://www.drlauraberman.com/relationships/committed-love/communication-keeps-love-strong>.