Marriage and Divorce in the 21st Century, Essay Example

In today’s society, marriage represents a difficult series of challenges that offer couples a number of problematic circumstances that are often psychologically complex in nature. Therefore, it is believed that in order to survive marriage and retain some degree of contentment in this relationship, both parties to the marriage must be willing to give and take, and to be fully aware of the opportunities and limitations of the marriage contract. If this is not the case and an agreement cannot be reached, then divorce is a very common consequence of a failed marriage. When children are involved, these concerns become even greater, because additional parties to the marriage lead to emotional and psychological concerns at different levels. Therefore, it is necessary for married persons to take the steps that are necessary to establish and maintain successful marriages, or suffer the consequences of divorce when these marriages do not work out, for whatever reason. The following discussion will address these challenges in greater detail, emphasizing the importance and relevance of psychological state and emotion in the marriage contract, and how poor outcomes or circumstances often lead to divorce, which may also impact additional individuals, such as children and other family members. The primary psychological issues of marriage and subsequent divorce will be addressed, in addition to potential new approaches and research methods that might be useful in improving outcomes in divorce for the foreseeable future. It is important to develop an effective understanding of the challenges that are involved in these areas, and how researchers and other experts might be effective in developing and supporting new strategies to provide support to those individuals that are directly impacted by these circumstances in a negative manner.

Issues and Problems

Today’s vows of marriage do not necessarily remain steadfast and true for “as long as we both shall live,” due to many external influences, including but not limited to busy lifestyles, temptation, affairs, material possessions, financial concerns, and other issues that might interfere with the vows that couples take during the marriage ceremony. Therefore, it is necessary to consider how these problems are often conducive to psychological concerns and issues of greater importance. When marriages do not work out for any reason and divorce is the only feasible alternative, there are typically a number of psychological concerns that are a direct result of these circumstances, as noted in the following: “The decision to end a relationship can be traumatic, chaotic, and filled with contradictory emotions. There are also specific feelings, attitudes, and dynamics associated with whether one is in the role of the initiator or the receiver of the decision to breakup” (O’Connell Corcoran, 1997). In this context, it is often very difficult for couples facing the prospect of divorce to emotionally detach themselves from the relationship, and therefore, they often face considerable concerns that may directly impact their psychological well being in different ways (O’Connell Corcoran, 1997).

As in the case of any detachment that involves a close relationship, divorce leads to considerable consequences for each partner to the marriage contract, particularly when children are involved. It becomes necessary to address these concerns in the context of their psychological influence on partners and their children. There are significant problems that may erupt when divorce is the only option, including increased stress levels, abuse, poor work or school performance, and other related concerns (Ygoy.com, 2007). For those former spouses with children, it is also evident that “The ”bonds of attachment” between former spouses last much longer than either of them would have expected, even for the one who most wanted the divorce. Divorced spouses often continue to be valuable resources for one another. When there is a moderate amount of contact between the spouses emotional disturbance are less” (Ygoy.com, 2007). In this manner, it is very possible that there are additional lasting effects that may directly influence parents and their children in important ways, and that these concerns must be addressed as early as possible during the divorce proceedings, so that those impacted might receive the best possible care and treatment before any lasting permanent damage ensues (Ygoy.com, 2007).

It is important for couples facing divorce to recognize the psychological circumstances behind the option to divorce, as these may dramatically impact the family dynamic, thereby creating a series of circumstances that are difficult to overcome without positive external influences, such as family counseling. The elements of divorce that are most devastating to families must be addressed directly rather than ignored, and this is reflective of an opportunity to explore how children might possess psychological consequences that are sometimes labeled as rebellion or other related characteristics (Marquardt, 2005).  According to the source, “Clearly divorce does something to childhood and to children, even when it doesn’t “permanently damage” them in the ways that social scientists know how to measure” (Marquardt, 2005).  These findings suggest that parents that are divorcing must set aside their differences for the time being in order to preserve the emotional and psychological well being of their children during this very vulnerable time (Marquardt, 2005).  This will ensure that these children are provided with the best possible care and assistance that is necessary to experience the best possible transition from a stable home to that involving divorce (Marquardt, 2005).

Approaches and Research for Improvement

There have been significant research studies in recent years that have explored various elements of divorce, expanding upon different attitudes, beliefs, perceptions, and experiences related to divorce (Fagan and Rector, 2000). In this context, it is important to consider the following blanket statement: “If the Family is the building block of society, then marriage is the foundation of the family. However, this foundation is growing weaker, with fewer adults entering into marriage, more adults leaving it in divorce, and more and more adults eschewing it altogether for single parenthood or cohabitation” (Fagan and Rector, 2000). From this perspective, it may be argued that there are significant challenges in place that must be addressed sooner rather than later with respect to the family and its significance in modern society, and that divorce slowly tears away at that foundation, leaving children and their parents to suffer the consequences without a means of restoring their faith in the family unit (Fagan and Rector, 2000). Research must continue to explore new areas of discovery so that a psychological balance might be achieved that will ensure that all persons facing a challenging series of circumstances associated with divorce are provided with the best possible alternatives to restore their faith, and to keep them on track as best as possible (Fagan and Rector, 2000). There is a significant need to explore other areas of research that might improve the outcomes that are associated with divorce and its effects on the family unit (Fagan and Rector, 2000).

Conclusion

Although it is inevitable that as individuals mature and change, based upon a variety of circumstances, they often drift apart, and relationships that were once strong might be fragile or nonexistent. Therefore, marriages that end up in divorce lead to psychological side effects that are very difficult to manage, and that often break families apart, leading to permanent damage. It is necessary for those families facing divorce in one form or another to examine their roles and responsibilities in maintaining positive psychological health, despite the changes that are taking place. Therefore, it is often necessary for spouses, children, and other family members to explore a variety of avenues that might lead to positive results to improve psychological well being. It is necessary to examine how current research techniques and strategies might be useful in supporting personal success and triumph in spite of divorce, and how to best move forward and overcome these challenges with courage, strength, and grace. Therefore, the development of different strategies or approaches that are designed to expand growth and development during and after divorce. It is perhaps most important to create different options if children are involved, so that their fragility is minimized, and is supported by such options as counseling, open discussion, and various related activities that might be conducive to an effective response to divorce, in spite of its negative outcomes and influence on families and children.

References

Fagan, P., and Rector, R. (2000). The effects of divorce on America. Retrieved August 18, 2010, from http://www.heritage.org/Research/Reports/2000/06/The-Effects-of-Divorce-on-America

Marquardt, E. (2005). Between two worlds: the inner lives of children of divorce. Retrieved August 18, 2010, from  http://www.divorcereform.org/psy.html

O’Connell Corcoran, K. (1997). Psychological and emotional aspects of divorce. Retrieved August 18, 2010, from http://www.mediate.com/articles/Psych.cfm#stats

Ygoy.com (2007). Emotional effects of divorce. Retrieved August 18, 2010, from http://women.ygoy.com/emotional-effects-of-divorce/