Married to the Wrong Sex, Essay Example

The topic of this essay is the need for secrecy pertaining to closeted homosexuality in society. The purpose of the story is for the author to explain how a friend is coping with his homosexuality in light of having a family. The main idea of this essay is that it is challenging to live as a gay man married to a woman. Overall, the summary of the essay could be stated as follows: The narrator meets with an old friend named Brady for lunch when he is visiting town. The narrator knows Brady well and questions his choice to remain with his wife while reminding him of his relationship with his friend David. The narrator knows he is gay and wants to know why he continues to live with his wife and children. Brady loves his family and his Christian values present him from telling his family about his homosexuality. Even though Brady is conflicted, he remains with his family because he does not want to hurt them and also because he intends to go along with the requirements that society dictates for him. Brady recognizes that he cannot hurt his family and to be happy, he will continue living his life married to a woman.

The rhetorical technique that the writer uses in this essay is argumentation, because to tell the audience about Brady’s struggles. This essay is written in a manner that attempts to make the reader feel bad for Brady and support the narrator’s view that he should be the person he wants to be. A sentence that emphasizes this idea is in the last section of the essay. The author wants us to feel bad that Brady has had the opportunity to finally be himself while visiting his friend, but must change his identity when he returns home. This is confirmed by the sentence, “In a few days, he’ll fly home to his wife and child, where his public life presides, his inner life remains a secret” (section 5, paragraph 9) because this demonstrates that Brady is able to be himself with very few people, and that he ultimately feels alone in life. The audience is supposed to feel bad for Brady because he cannot admit that he is gay, even though this would make his life much happier. This style is appropriate for this topic because it helps show us the pain that people that must hide their identities feel.

Another rhetorical mode used in this story is narration. This is exemplified in the following sentence, “If I go, I’m going to be that man that abandoned his wife and child. Children. I know that if I stay, I’m abandoning a part of myself. I love [my child] and my wife is wonderful. I know I’m lying to her and to my family” (section 5, paragraph 8). The author provides Brady’s narration to argue that he cannot possibly leave his current life and be who he really is because this will hurt his wife and family. Even though he is not sexually attracted to his wife, he reasons that he cannot hurt her like that. The narrator exemplifies that since Brady places the importance of his family above his own wants and needs, it is not possible for him to make the decision that he should put himself ahead of others.

When I read the essay, I felt bad that Brady couldn’t be honest about his sexuality. However, I am not surprised that he decided to continue to advocate for his family instead of himself because he has a very positive personality. However, it is important for Brady to come to a compromise about his situation. He cares greatly about his family but it is likely that he could care for them best if he is honest with himself. If he is happy, he will be able to make his children happier. This extends to the current state of homosexuality in America; even though gay marriage is now legal, many people are afraid of being honest because they are afraid of society. How can we overcome this bias? This is an important question we will need to work towards in order to make progress in the future.

A discussion of the benefits of homosexual rights in America would serve as an interesting essay. To achieve this, I would use previous state legislation both for and against gay marriage to prove my point. I would exemplify these principles by showing cases in which gay and lesbian couples were or were not allowed to get married. I would use this information to then show how federal legislation would impact the lives of these individuals.