Mathematical Theory, Essay Example

I remember the first time I felt stifled, not being allowed to speak my mind and just standing there helpless; feeling like that anything that I say does not matter. I also remember how vehemently angry I was when I felt so powerless, voicing your opinion always made you strong, made you powerful. In 1997, I was a sophomore at high school and I felt like I wanted the year to be a different one than the previous one. I had a teacher who acted so high and mighty to the point where he acted like his opinion was the only one that mattered, I remember one particular incident. I was wearing my FUBU jogging suit along with my gray Nike gym shoes, I was sitting in a side desk in the front row; the teacher was an arrogant, pompous jerk.

The teacher was telling me about a mathematical theory that he was studying and was trying to sound so smart and like he knew what he was talking about, I said “I beg to differ”. The teacher turned around at me and said that I did not know what I was talking about, I was better off just listening. Right then, I felt so powerless, so stifled. That pompous jerk made me feel like what I just said did not matter, I had a counterattack to his so-called theory. When he practically told me to sit there and shut up, I felt like a 6-year-old boy who talks about big things but is not taken seriously.

The eyes from everyone in the class who saw me get shutdown like that was embarrassing to say the least, I even heard one of the other ‘little boys’ cackle at the teacher; the uneducated no good practically mocked my wisdom. I felt so humiliated.

At that moment, I was said to myself, so much for the year being different. I wanted to be in a class where I felt valued as a student and wanted to be heard like I mattered, I took it upon myself to ignore the teacher for the rest of the year. I always had this thing where I do not like being stifled when I am offering my opinion and wisdom, I have always turned my back to people like that; the teacher was no different.

Every time I went to his class, my reaction to everything he said was a look of disbelief and boredom. I said to myself at that time, “man, the only smart person in this class is me and I’m sitting amongst a bunch of ignorant, close-minded dummies”. Often times, I felt like I could not look directly at the teacher because he always wore these flamboyant and loud colored suits such as bright orange, lavender and other bright colors. I often felt like it was just a waste to be in the class because I always felt like I was on a level above everyone else even the blockheaded teacher who “thought” he was ahead of everyone else.

The teacher’s behavior of my opinion has often made me think that the reason why people like the teacher have to make me feel powerless and stifled because whatever they said was not taken seriously, another reason I felt it was too because they did not want to be outclassed by someone who was up and coming; call it an inferiority complex. There was more than a few times when I would walk the non-vacant hallway near his class and would hear him telling another student the same thing he told me, it did not surprise me that the person got up and walked out; a young mulatto female about 5’8 inches tall wearing her semi-loud perfume.

For the rest of the time that I was in the teacher’s class, I would always feel stifled so I said nothing at all even when I was called on; I kept my stroke of genius to myself. This situation has always brought me to the conclusion that my opinions and feelings are too strong for most people, they make me feel stifled because their ability to speak their mind is stifled.