My Field of Dreams, Essay Example

While I felt that the topic presented in “My Field of Dreams” was effective, I think that the way that the topic was presented was ineffective. The essay was difficult to read because a lot of ideas were broken up into small sentences and the author used very basic vocabulary. On the other hand, I do think that the author did a good job in ensuring that enough detail was provided about her experience at the baseball game with her dad. Although it wasn’t written well, it did present the reader with a large quantity of information so that they were able to picture her description, as if they were at the stadium with her. I think the last sentence relates to the points the author makes in the rest of the essay because it shows that while she loved baseball, she realized that she would be discouraged from playing professionally because of her gender. Since her memories of baseball were so positive, it makes her equally sad that she would not be accepted socially as a baseball player.

I believe that Kristy Bredin’s internship application is somewhat effective. She provides excellent examples to demonstrate why she should be granted the position at Rolling Stone, although I don’t believe that her points are well supported. I agree that both her education and experience would make her a good fit for this position. However, she fails to explain why she would be a better candidate than other recent college graduates. Furthermore, it appears that her skill level is extremely basic. It may have been advantageous for her to describe her relevant experiences more thoroughly and concisely to ensure that she would be considered for this job or internship.