Norman Thayer and “On Golden Pond”, Essay Example

Norman Thayer is the main character of the film “On Golden Pond” produced by Mark Rydell and is representative of the whole bunch of problems associated with aging. He is in his eighties and seems to have an unapproachable disposition. He keeps “picking on” his closest people exhibiting no wish to communicate and lacking politeness. It seems that he only survives due to his loving and caring wife Ethel who does all the socialization for him. A closer look, however, reveals that Norman is in fact an extremely sensitive person who does not feel secure with his age and who deserves understanding and love which he would not fail to return.

Trying to adopt a step-by-step scheme, we will first speculate on his intelligence and memory abilities and their decline if it exists. It is mentioned several times that Norman’s memory is deteriorating. He claims that although he has read “Treasure Island”, the book would seem new to him. Still, it looks like an exaggeration because at the same time he makes young Billy start reading the book, which means he remembers it is worth reading especially in one’s teenage years. Moreover, such exaggeration is only one of the elements of his positioning himself in the eyes of others which is to be discussed later. Such exaggeration might indicate a decline in metamemory – a person’s self-estimation of his abilities to remember and retrieve information from memory. It is believed that many older people tend to underestimate their memory, perhaps, due to the fear of Alzheimer’s disease. A more credible testimony about his memory is given by Norman’s wife who says he is starting to have some problems with remembering things. Norman sometimes wrongly calls Billy the name of his daughter, Chelsea, for example, when Norman and Billy fish together. But we get to know that Norman never had with Chelsea the kind of relationship he had with Billy and, perhaps, they never went fishing or did some other exciting things together. So it is not that Norman just mistakes Billy for Chelsea and mixes up the present and the past. He might just wish that there was Chelsea in Billy’s place so much that he uses her name. In other respects, Norman appears as sharp as anyone else making biting remarks about people and being quick to understand things. He also has quite good spatial memory and finds remote fishing places with ease. He does not have trouble finding the way home. He is also quite successful in board games competing with younger characters. He also shows he can easily master some of slang language used by the boy. He remembers both new information about people and the events of the past. Although he claims he has forgotten his last name in a conversation with Billy Ray senior, this is most likely to be also explained by Norman’s wish to make Billy feel uneasy.

To describe personality changes in Norman, we have to first concentrate on his dispositional traits. During the first half of the film (roughly speaking) he appears as a cantankerous old man, selfish and irritated with everyone. He is an introvert and most freely communicates with his own wife. There is some evidence that he has not developed his disagreeableness and irritability in his old age. He is said to have always had bad relationships with his daughter nagging at her and making remarks. Ethel even tries to explain it by his harsh experience as a child (noticeably not by his old age). Norman talks constantly about dying as if he were the only person who is to die. But even this habit does not appear to have been acquired by him in the process of aging. In the final episode Ethel says that he has been talking about death ever since they met. This supports the principle of continuity – some basic traits remain with people throughout their lives. Needless to say, however, that total dissatisfaction with life is aggravated by a decline in abilities associated with aging and results in higher aggression levels.

For Norman, aging is the focal point. He seems to be always thinking and talking about it. He is prone to exaggerate his physical and mental decline, as was shown above, and is totally pessimistic. In contrast, his wife, who is quite an elderly lady, prefers to call her husband and herself “middle-aged people” and willingly gets involved in all the activities which the life on Golden Pond has to offer. She admires the beauty of nature and enjoys walks in the wood, while Norman chooses to stay at home if he can because he is sure life does not have anything worthwhile in store for him. When he finally ventures outdoors to pick up some strawberries, he feels so insecure that he hurries back home and seeks comfort near his wife. It does not mean that he has peacefully resigned himself to being old. Norman seems to find pleasure in claiming that he is aged, weak and dissatisfied as if his old age and unhappiness were worse than any problems other people might experience and gave him the right to feel superior in his martyrdom. He readily immerses in the feeling of being neglected (for example, by his daughter), ridiculed and worthless. His wife works indefatigably to make Norman more active – she asks assertively to do some household chores, take walks and talk to people.

His own existence seems to Norman pointless. His motivation is very low. He loses grip on his life. In a conversation with young Billy, Ethel compares Norman to an old lion who roars at life to show that he still can roar. This is the point – Norman still has some energy but he chooses to convert it into aggression. His wife again appears to be exclusion – Norman is tenderly attached to her.

Nevertheless, it turns out that the process of losing motivation and building up aggression is not irreversible. As young Billy appears in his house outrageous and ready to confront Ethel and Norman, the old man faces a challenge. He cannot allow his wife and himself to be humiliated by the impertinent youth. On the other hand, he starts feeling responsible for the boy and wants to teach him. He sees, perhaps, that the boy is in a way deprived having never read “Treasure Island” or gone fishing and having been left behind by his father who is too busy with his private life. His new task is to interest and involve the boy. This requires a radical change in Norman’s self-image. He cannot afford anymore to look helpless and disabled if he wants to be the leader. Moreover, Norman understands at least subconsciously that, if he only keeps picking on Billy, it would not pave the path to his heart. After all, Billy does not let Norman yell at him. In addition, Billy’s misbehavior stimulates Norman to set some good example. When Norman feels that Billy is getting interested in him, his motivation peaks and makes him even overestimate his abilities when they go on fishing trips together. Of course, the accident which happened during one of the trips when their boat crashed, they saved each other from drowning and shared the joy of being rescued made Norman and Billy very close to each other. It appears that Billy gave Norman a new lease of life by letting him feel that the job of a father, grandfather or senior friend is a rewarding one. Norman never had with Chelsea the kind of relationships he has with Billy. No matter whose fault it was, there was no feedback from Chelsea and that must have contributed to Norman’s sense of worthlessness. The story told in the film shows that it is never late to change positively if a person is motivated and rewarded. After the experience with Billy, Norman feels much more at ease with his life and does not begrudge praise and congratulations to Chelsea when she tells him she has got married, which surprises her extremely. She tries to build some new relationships with her father and he appears quite ready for that, not reserved and intimidating as he used to be.

According to stage theories of personality development, it can be said that Norman missed out an important stage in his life. He did not have fulfilling and healthy relationships with his daughter when she was a child. Consequently, his later years are darkened with a neurosis. He is dissatisfied with his life and aggressive. Only the opportunity to finally compensate for the missing stage due to the relationships with Billy enables Norman to stop fighting his life and accept it. The typical crisis of Old Age described by Erik Erikson – the crisis between attaining integrity versus despair – is shown in the film in full. While at the beginning Norman is quite desperate, he obtains some perspectives for building up integrity in the course of events. His crisis might very well be resolved in wisdom as is predicted by Erik Erikson.

The film raises the problem of social isolation and its harmful effect on aging people. The case with Norman is probably a difficult one. He receives social acceptance only from his wife and clearly lacks wider intercourse. However, he is too proud to socialize with people because he feels that would mean asking for help. Perhaps, he does not acknowledge that he needs help. He is sure that the life he leads is an only option for old man. He demands respect for his age but does not exhibit any respect or politeness towards other people. As he views himself as a worthless old person, his self-esteem is very low.

The appearance of young Billy in his life makes Norman reconsider his idea of himself. He sees that in comparison with Billy he has a store of life experience. He is more educated, he has a devoted wife and interests Billy a lot. Billy learns from Norman some French and fishing, follows his advice in reading and asks how Norman “got Ethel”.  Billy presents an opportunity for Norman to give himself to other people, and that is what older people strive for to feel needed and valued.

I am a firm believer in the idea that older people have to live close to younger and not be left in any reservations where they would only have people of the same age to communicate. Being with the young and constantly challenged by life usually results in older people feeling better – more vigorous and energetic. In my experience of communicating with older people I could notice that they do not need as much peace and quite as they are believed to. They enjoy being of help to their children and especially grandchildren much more. By the way, children usually love communicating with their grandparents because they often appear less strict and more entertaining than parents. Furthermore, the generation gap makes older people the only carriers of some skills and knowledge which parents sometimes do not have the time for. In the film, such skill was fishing – it fascinated Billy who could never witness fishing or participate in it before because his father was not into it. For adult people it is also extremely important to communicate with their elderly parents more often. Adult people tend to view older ones as kind of judges no matter whether they like and want it or not. The parents can judge best whether we have grown up into successful and grateful people or not. If adult people overlook communication with their older parents, they risk missing out some important components of life stages and, as a result, feeling less secure in their lives. This is the case of Chelsea – she feels ashamed of not visiting her parents more often and failing to build healthy relationships with her father and tries to compensate for it.

It is quite hard to tell whether Norman and Chelsea will succeed in becoming closer to each other, but the attempt shown in the film surely has had its positive effect on both.

References

On Golden Pond. Dir. Mark Rydell. Prod. ITC Films / IPC Films. 1981.