Overcoming My Shyness, Essay Example

Introduction

Shyness is a problem that creates further difficulties in life. Indeed, when somebody is shy, they do not speak up for themselves, they are unable to communicate effectively and get their ideas across. In teaching and learning, shyness can cause several difficulties and create communication barriers. In personal life, it makes it harder to create relationships, socialize and get to know different people’s views. Indeed, shyness can be a result of technological developments of the past few decades: one can live a life, get groceries delivered, complete courses online without ever having to meet with a person face-to-face. Shyness is a problem that can be overcome with hard work and determination. The below essay will be built upon my personal experiences with overcoming this problem, enabling myself to life a fuller, more complete life.

Thesis: Shyness can be tackled by one’s self, using the combination of hypnosis, self-determination, positive affirmations and an exposure therapy.

Review of Experiences

I had been shy all my life up to the age of 20. As a child, in kindergarten, I never approached other children. I went off to play on my own, never asked to join in. In school, I only spoke when I was asked, and even then I talked very quietly. I had known that I had a problem for a long time before I started to deal with it.

When I realized that my shyness was responsible for the lack of friends, success in school and personal life, I understood that I had to deal with it. I had enough of carrying the stigma of being a “shy kid” and not being considered for leading roles in plays, speeches or performances. I started to search the Internet for resources on how to overcome shyness. I knew that being withdrawn was a result of being afraid of other people’s opinion, therefore, I searched for solutions to control this fear.

Hypnosis

I found resources on the internet and discovered free hypnosis video sessions that are designed to help me overcome social fear and develop the capability of expressing my views in front of other people. I also understood that if I carry on avoiding others I would develop a condition called “social phobia” which is a serious mental illness. The website “Free Hypnosis Treatment” had several videos that have helped me. Over time, I created a schedule to watch the videos three evenings a week before going to bed. I did see slow changes in my attitude towards other people and started to open up.

Self-determination

Even though I did well with my online hypnosis treatment, I had difficulties with keeping up the schedule. Sometimes I did not see the point in listening to the same voice over and over again and did not fully agree that it was important to go out there. I tried to convince myself that it was OK to be shy, there was nothing wrong with me. Indeed, my unconscious mind was trying to be lazy, and in many cases, my fear of change was overcoming me. I had to re-inforce my self-determination to ensure that I keep up the schedule of the therapy. Without adequate motivation, it is hard to achieve goals, therefore, I combined self-determination with motivation. I got a blank piece of paper and wrote down the benefits of being more outgoing, open and sociable. On the other side of the paper I wrote down the consequences of not changing my attitude towards people. This way, I was able to convince myself and keep up my self-determination.

Positive Affirmations

When I did not have the piece of paper with me detailing the benefits of opening up to others, I often fell back and became withdrawn again. I soon realized that these relapses were in the way of my self-development. I created positive affirmations to use for these instances and told myself the following: “I can open up to people”, “I can be positive”, “People can find me ineresting”, “People can judge me, it doesn’t matter”. When I used these affirmations, my attitude changed and I managed to focus on my goal to overcome shyness.

Exposure

The last step in my journey of overcoming shyness was to expose myself to situations I was most afraid of. For this method, I wrote down all the instances when I was feeling anxious about being seen, heard or noticed. Some of these situations occurred in the shopping mall, others in school. I started to actively seek these specific difficulties to teach myself how to deal with them. Indeed, I improved my methods of handling these difficult situations and got better at them over time, resulting in a sense of achievement and increased motivation.

Conclusion

While the combination of the above self-help methods to overcome shyness have worked for me, they might form a general framework. I spoke of my experience, and the success of the approaches is not guaranteed for everyone. However, self-determination and positivity are definitely needed for overcoming shyness, and if someone lacks motivation, these aspects of personality can be strengthened using the above described techniques.