Parenting and Divorce, Essay Example

Introduction

According to several authors and the public, single parents face several difficulties bearing difficult children or dealing with emotional conflicts, fears and trauma. Apart from the emotional stress, mental health issues the lack of skills to understand children’s development can make parenting more difficult. The below paper is going to examine the impact of trauma and emotional distress on childbearing and on parents and children. The authors would also like to examine methods that can make parenting after trauma easier. Reviewing related literature and the different aspects of parenting, the current study will focus on the recommended methods of understanding child development and dealing with emotional implications of stress, fear and trauma.

Related Research and Literature

Emotional Stress and its Implications

During and after trauma, both children and parents go through emotional stress. In the case of military families, after deployment, spouses and children, mental health issues are more common. According to Gewirtz, Erbes, Polusny, Forgatch and DeGarmo (2011, p. 57), many spouses experience “depression, sleep problems, anxiety disorders, acute stress reactions, and adjustment disorders”. Further, financial and occupational strains arise, making parenting difficult. The impact on children is mostly associated with longer deployment in combat, emotional problems of children are very common. Indeed, the risk of developing emotional problems is 2.5 times greater in case of children of high risk deployed parents. (Gewirtz et al., 2011) Further, there is a close association between the distress of the parent and child adjustment.

Making living and financial arrangements, planning, possibly moving, detachment, loneliness, and even depression can make parenting more difficult. These are all sources of stress. Parents would certainly have less patience with their children than before. Parents would be unable to deal with difficulties during relationship crisis.

Emotional stress can also occur after children experience a trauma in the family. Osofsky (2003) Parents’ distress greatly impacts children’s capability of dealing with the emotional stress themselves. As the author confirms: (Appleyard and Osofsky, 2003, p. 113) “The deleterious impact of trauma on parents and their capacity to parent their children seems well recognized in the clinical community”. However, there are differences in the level of impact, based on how capable parents are to support their children. The better they can deal with the emotional stress and trauma themselves the more support they can provide their children.

Other Sources of Stress

Parents often find it hard to achieve work-life balance if they carry on working and the other parent is removed. If the parent who is responsible for the child(ren) is in full time employment, they need to ensure that the children stay safe while they have to provide for them. In case of military families, a PMTO study quoted by Gewirtz et al. (2011) financial stress, the lack of time and children’s alienation can make parenting extremely challenging. In case of long term deployment of one parent of life-changing trauma affecting the family, a change in lifestyle, routine, living circumstances can result in complications of parent-child relationship. After a trauma, according to Appleyard and Osofsky (2003), the effects of stress, family and community violence can result in depression, anxiety, PSTD, impacting the parent’s emotional well-being, as well as their relationship with children. Anxiety can result in a more problematic parenting; according to Appleyard and Osofsky (2003), parents lose the ability to listen to their children and somewhat lose interest in parenting due to depression. If children also experience anxiety, depression or PSTD, the relationship can break down fully, because none of the parties are able to tolerate the other’s behavior.

Helping Children and Families

Siegel and Bryson (2012) offer an effective method to overcome parenting difficulties and support the developing mind of the child. The twelve strategies would not only help the general population to nurture the development of their children, but would prove to be successful in extreme cases and difficult family situations. When parenting becomes difficult, due to emotional stress, trauma or mental illness, these strategies can help rebuild the relationship. The authors advise parents to “connect through conflict” and teach children life skills using a difficult situation. Seeing other people’s perspectives and analyzing it together, for example would help both parents and children distance themselves from their current distress.

Conclusion

Appleyard and Osofsky (2003) created a list of intervention strategies to be applied in cases when parents and children experienced trauma. These strategies include community support, parent education, psychological assessment and treatment, as well as follow-up assessments. Indeed, the plan outlined is an effective multidisciplinary strategy, which should be implemented by family support services. Gewirtz et al. (2011) talk about the importance of supporting parents to manage stress in case of military families. Emotional regulation is also a skill that would help parents adjust to the situation and emotional distress, making them more capable of supporting their children.

The above review of related literature has given the authors perspective parenting issues related to emotional distress. While some authors stated that mental and emotional distress, financial problems and over-burdened status can make parenting more difficult and there is a need to develop an effective support system in the community to help parents overcome emotional, financial and work-life crises, this does not have a negative impact on their parenting skills

References

Appleyard, K., Osofsky, J. (2003)  Parenting after trauma: supporting parents and caregivers in the treatment of children impacted by violence. Infant Mental Health Journal. Vol. 24(2) 111-125

Gewirtz, A.,  Erbes, C., Polusny, M., Forgatch, M.,  DeGarmo, D. (2011) Helping military families through the deployment process: strategies to support parenting. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice Vol. 42, No. 1, 56–62

Siegel, D., Bryson, T. (2012) The whole-brain child—12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. Random House.