Teenage Sex, Essay Example

Teenage Sex

Having grown up in the South in a fairly conservative family, my attitudes regarding sex were formed at an early age.  Unlike some, my parents were open to talking about personal issues like sex.  My parents framed conversations about sexual activity with other issues like responsibility, family values, respect and religious virtue.  In retrospect, I think my parents approach was well balanced.

Around the age of 7 or 8, my parents began teaching me about the marriage relationship and the importance of various family values.  These conversations were not “rehearsed” with intent, but were extemporaneous opportunities to teach, based on something that was going on at the time.  As I emerged through puberty and developed an increasing interest in girls, I do remember a couple of occasions where my folks “sat me down” and had what some might call “the talk.”

My family has always been close and very influential in the personal and social values I have today.  While Lorenz’ theory of imprinting was based on animal behavior, his theory is certainly applicable to early childhood development.  A child’s first experience with something tends to set a context within which future encounters with the same thing are evaluated.  In their article, Barrieau et al. (2010) contend that parenting behaviors in early childhood are largely responsible for “developing self-efficacy, self-control, and social integration.”

Given my own experiences and the insight of behavioral theorists, I believe the first and perhaps most important variable in guiding a young person’s sexual attitudes, values and behaviors is parenting.  Parenting is of course a double-edged sword.  Those of us fortunate enough to have pro-active parents developed our sexual values from a core “starting place” set within our families at an early age.

Individuals raised in families that either ignored conversations about sex, or considered the topic “taboo” may not have begun developing sexual values until they were exposed to the subject through friends at school or from TV.  For these people, social and cultural mores may play a greater part in developing sexual attitudes.  For some, religion is also a strong influence.  From a psychological perspective, social influences on sexual behavior can be examined using Maslow’s model.

Sexual behavior falls within two tiers of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs (Drinnien, Irwan, & Simons, 1987).  The theorist put sex in the bottom tier (physiological needs.)  Volitional abstinence or conversely, the satisfaction of this deficiency need can be influenced by the middle tier (belonging) or in the case of voluntary abstinence, by the top tier (self-actualization.)

Choosing abstinence in an effort to follow a chosen standard of sexual behavior, (religious or otherwise) falls into the category of self-actualization.  This path denies the physiological urge for sex in favor of self-efficacy and/or spiritual righteousness.  The strength of a person’s resolve in this area will ultimately affect his or her sexual behavior.

Even when I was in high school, there was a lot of peer pressure regarding sex.  Sexual experience was paramount in being “cool” – especially for boys.  The South has always tended to be more conservative in terms of modesty and social manners.  Regardless of any cultural conservatism, teenagers like to have sex.  Maslow’s third tier (belonging) can certainly explain why some teens who would just as soon remain celibate, would engage in sexual behavior due to peer pressure and the need to be accepted.

In my day, sexual pressure was not as overt as I see it being today.  Sex was still considered an intimate act between a guy and his girlfriend.  A guy might “get lucky” in the back seat of his dad’s car or have that rare rendezvous when his girlfriend’s parents were gone for the evening.  Guys (and I imagine girls as well) might be inclined to recount their sexual adventures with their friends in whispered tones.

From what I see, those days are gone.  The sexual pressures influencing today’s teenagers are ever-present and almost overwhelming.  The first pressure involves teenagers’ general attitude about sex.  For many of today’s teens, sex is a cultural phenomenon rather than an intimate, private one.

In his New York Times article, Lewen (2005) describes public reaction to the book Rainbow Party which describes the alleged “phenomenon” of oral sex parties in America today.  While the author discounts such parties as constituting a “phenomenon” he does cite a couple of surveys contending that half of all boys 15 – 19 have received oral sex, and 4% of those who had, claimed to have participated in one of these parties.  This of course falls on the extreme side of today’s teen sex spectrum.

There are however other behaviors that are more commonplace in the teen culture of sex.  A few years ago the reappearance of so-called “sex bracelets” began.  These bracelets became popular during the disco period if the 70’s along with mood rings.  The bracelets are simple rubber bands (line Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong band) and come in a variety of colors.  Each color symbolizes the wearer’s willingness to participate in some kind of sexual activity.  Perhaps most disquieting is the fact that these adornments have become so popular in middle schools that many districts across the country have banned them.

There is one final social influence on teen sexual behavior that tops the list.  It is of course, technology in the form of cell phones and the internet.  We have all heard about the real phenomenon of “sexting.”  Now that most kids have cell phones, the sharing of sexually explicit language and images is both easy and widespread.  Instead of talking with a buddy about “getting lucky” last night, today’s teen boy can just as easily show this friends how lucky he got.

The internet has also contributed in a major way to teen’s sexual “education” and behavior.  When I was a kid and wanted something “titillating” to look at, my recourse was to snag a Playboy and drool over naked women.  With the abundance of porn on the internet, today’s teens have more viewing options than I ever even thought of in my day.

When I was in school, sex education was indeed offered.  Students’ parents could “opt out” of the program but I attended.  As I remember it, the curriculum was mostly biological in nature.  We learned the proper names for reproductive organs such as fallopian tube, vas deferens and uterus.  I recall it being fairly clinical in nature.  There was some discussion about VD (I grew up in the pre-AIDS era) and how to prevent pregnancy through abstinence, condoms, or birth control.  The only impact that I recall these classes having on my (or anyone else’s) behavior, was that they made us giggle when the teacher said “penis.”  I do not remember them as being particularly profound in terms of shaping my sexual decisions.

In the world today, effective sex education is more important than ever.  Considering the prominence of sexual pressure on our teens, it is important that this subject be given equal weight.  It is simply not enough to teach kids the physiological names and functions of the human reproductive system, as such information is not likely to have any impact on behavior.

Even kids choosing abstinence (as I believe they should) need to be aware of the dangers of pornography and social media.  When I was young, pornography was considered a “dirty word” reserved for perverts who frequented X-rated movie theaters.  Today it is everywhere and needs to be discussed with our kids.  Incidents of some young person becoming victimized as the result of “hooking up” with someone from a social media site need also be discussed.

I am opposed to schools handing out condoms and birth-control pills.  I am sure most parents would be in my camp there.  I do however believe that the proverbial cat is already out of the bag.  A parent who is squeamish about discussing sex with their kids is being ridiculous in thinking that their children will thus be saved from exposure to sexual matters.  Education is important, and young people today need to be educated about the subject.  There are darn good reasons for teens to be sexually cautious in today’s world.  Effective and inclusive sex education can make a difference.

References

Barrieau, L., Enns, L., Ruttle, P., Serbin, L., & Stack, D. (2010). Parental effects on children’s emotional development over time and across generations. Infants and Young Childres, 23(1), 52-69. doi:10.1097/IYC.0b013e3181c97606

Drinnien, B., Irwan, D., & Simons, J. (1987). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Retrieved from http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/maslow.htm

Lewen, T. (2005, June 30). Are these parties for real? Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/30/fashion/thursdaystyles/30rainbow.html?_r=1&ex=1171861200&en=224ded290e711bb1&ei=5070