The Psychology of Interpersonal Relations, Essay Example

Learning how to communicate effectively is something that I have always wanted to be able to do. Even before I entered the class, I was already very much aware that there were many areas in communication where I needed extensive improvement. The problem was that I did not know precisely what those areas were and more importantly, what steps to take in order to achieve improvement in them.  In this essay, I discuss how I was able to improve my communication skills through the past five weeks that I was in the program. In the following paragraphs, I narrate the different experiences which were critical to the development of my ability to interact with other people in an effective and formal fashion.

As with all endeavors, the first matter that needed to be addressed was attitude. Admittedly, my attitude about communication before I entered the program was that it was about me sending a message to another person.  I did not consider communication as a two-way process, and that was a major barrier to my being able to communicate effectively. However, through the group activities that I had the pleasure of joining, I realized the importance of treating communication as a two-way process; a give-and-take relationship. As I engaged into more activities with my peers, I realized that by paying enough attention to what they were saying, I was able to get my own ideas across more effectively. When I knew where a person was coming from, I could engage that person into a discussion where both of us can appreciate one another’s ideas. The theories that I learned helped me understand this. In particular, the discussion on the Attribution Theory found in the work of Heider (1958), made me understand how I interpreted other people’s actions based on my own emotional state. I realized how unfair this was, and how it impairs the effectiveness with the way that I communicate. This led me to developing the ability to be able to look at the discussion from an objective angle and avoid self-serving attributions. Another theory, which is that of symbolic interactionism discussed in Blumer (1969), enabled me to understand further about the misinterpretations that can occur from communication. From the group activities that we conducted, I was able to experience directly how different media can be prone to different types of misinterpretation, all borne from being unable to take the position of the person sending the message correctly.

Secondly, the program has empowered me with the ability to launch proper arguments. While I have been engaging in arguments far before I entered the program, I did not know what it meant to actually make an argument and defend it until we were able to do it in one of the sessions. The discussions on classical rhetoric taken from Adams (1985) brought the spirit of true debate alive in my being. I realized that all of the arguments that I have engaged in prior to my introduction to classical rhetoric were more like quarrels rather than real arguments. By learning about what a premise is and how formal logic can be applied to arguments in order to be able to draw sound conclusions, I was able to see the reason behind a person’s words more clearly, as well as detect discrepancies in what he or she was saying more accurately. There were times in the past when I knew that I was right but just could not express what I thought clearly enough in words for the other person to understand. It was not a problem of not being able to use the language; it was a problem of not knowing what to say in order to get the right points across. With the lessons on classical rhetoric that I learned, I was able to make my case on everyday matters more strongly, and I did not even have to raise my voice. For example, when I got into an argument with a cab driver who took a wrong turn and blamed me for it, I explained to him that he misunderstood my instruction, and he ended up realizing it too and apologizing to me for it, even offering to take $5 off my meter for the trouble. It felt good being able to launch an argument without needing to sound threatening or loud. I realized that the reason why I used to argue that way was because I did not have sufficient insight on the direction that I needed to take my argument. I was afraid because of my lack of know-how on how to argue properly, and so I covered up my fear with an overly assertive demeanor.  Of course, now I know much better.

Definitely, the past five weeks have been very enriching for me, and I am confident that I can say the same for everyone else in the group. The lessons that we learned are both profoundly enlightening and advantageously practical. Still, there remains to be at least one key area that I believe I still need considerable improvement on. I believe that while my competence in written communication has improved considerably on various fronts since before I joined the program, I am still significantly lacking in the ability to express myself verbally in a formal environment. I learned from the presentation that I conducted that writing about something and presenting the same thing to an audience are two very different things, the difference being that the latter takes a great deal of confidence to pull off successfully.  In the coming weeks, I intend to work on this perceived deficiency extensively, mainly by seeking avenues where I can practice my formal speaking skills and build self-assurance. Nevertheless, the program has undeniably helped me establish the foundations of my effective communication skills, and I intend to build on those foundations in order to maximize my full potential. In closing, I extend my gratitude to the program and its facilitators, without which and without whom I would not be able to write this piece.

References

Adams, K. 1985. ‘Bringing Rhetorical Theory into the Advanced Composition Class.’ Rhetoric Review, vol. 3, pp. 184-189.

Blumer, H. 1969. Symbolic Interactionism: Perspective and Method. Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Prentice-Hall.

Heider, F. 1958. The Psychology of Interpersonal Relations. New York, Wiley.