Understanding the Five Stages of Grief From Laments for a Son, Essay Example

Experiencing the loss of a loved one definitely causes a sense of bereavement. Human nature does impose a sense of distinct need of time for such matter to occur. It could be realized than that among all the emotions felt by any person, bereavement, grief and everything else that comes with such feeling could be considered as one of the hardest to deal with. In the story Laments for a Son by Dr. Nicholas Wolterstorff, he presents to his readers the agony brought about to him by the death of his 25 year old son whom he has lost to a mountain climbing accident. Reading through the said narrative does provide a distinct sense of understanding on the emotional stages of grief that a person undergoes whenever he does experience the sense of loss.

To note, the first part of the narrative shows how the author himself went through the prospects of denial and isolation when he went home and tried to get back on track as much as he could after his son died. He tried to console himself with the idea that his son is now resting and cannot be harmed anymore. Photographs and other memorabilia that reminded him of his son were not yet pulled down and he tried to keep on holding on to them for quite some time. Then came the stage of anger; the time when he blamed himself for not looking after his son. The desire to save his son from death keeps coming back to him, and somehow, it is such desire to regain the life of his son that kept him angry at himself and at some point even disappointed that he was not able to accomplish what he wanted to fully give attention to.

The bargaining stage was shown in the narrative to be part of the father’s bereavement as he sought for further possibilities from which he might have done something else, or at some point might have even deprived his son of the joys of adventure. Still part of the blaming stage, he wished he was not as embracing and indulging as he was to the desire of his son to be adventurous ever since he was still at a younger age. The point of depression came in when he finally realized that in the essence of what life has offered him and his son, all he can do now is cry. That no matter how he reasons out to himself as he tries to mandate the concept of survival from such pain, there would be nothing else he could do about it but to cry. Lamenting about his son’s death has caused him to lose track of time and his profession for a while. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness has caused him to lose sight of what was really important to him and to his being as a professional and as an individual. Losing his son made him feel like he has lost himself as well. It was not an easy choice to take, but he knew he needed to continue living, and that his son would have loved for him to move on.

The point of acceptance came across the author as he realized that if his son was still living; he would be hurt seeing his father throw everything up the shelf just because he cannot join in the “fun” anymore. He wanted to make sure that the death of his son would not be in vain. A part of his point of acceptance includes the release of his book [as noted herein] as he tries to reach out to parents and individuals who have lost their loved ones as well. Wolterstorff created a narrative presentation of his emotions not only to point out to his readers how painful it was for him to lose someone but also to implicate on the fact that when it comes to bereavement, one must be able to see the brighter side of matters. He then used his son’s death as the inspiration to move others to take charge of their lives and to not let grief take over their hearts and their whole being. What makes Wolterstorff’s writing compelling and effective in sending out the message is the fact that when it comes to developing a better sense of emotional realization, one who did not experience the said circumstances will not be able to convey clear messages as desired.

Overall, it could then be realized that the narrative of Dr. Wolterstorff shows how one struggles to fight the grief he is feeling and how he could become more effective in making sure that the way he moves on would be much beneficial for him and for those whom he loves dearly. The survival that the author talks about in his writing is one that reflects the overall truth about human nature and how one responds to the loss of something or someone important in his life. Among the most effective way of surviving such point of struggle in life was his willingness to trust in the hope of resurrection that the author himself has read and understood especially that he has created a bond with the creator as he tried to survive this aspect of his life. The bible verse found at Revelations 21:4 gives the author a sense of realization on how a definite turn of belief on the hope of God’s power to remove death in the face of mankind’s life a distinct understanding of how his son would still have the hope of resurrection, somehow possibly engaging in a more definite form of realization on the possibility of them being together again.

References

Kübler-Ross, E. (1999) On Death and Dying, Routledge.

Kübler-Ross, E. (2005) On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss, Simon & Schuster Ltd.

Scire, P. (2007). “Applying Grief Stages to Organizational Change”. Simon & Schuster Ltd.