Beginnings and Endings, Essay Example

The memory of getting my first pet has been playing through my mind recently. The gated fence with a handful of puppies hopping around begging for my attention; the feel of my new puppies fur as I lifted him out of the pit like a crane; the way his tiny feet tapped my legs in excitement on the drive home. My dog Oliver was 13 when he died last week. After seeing him in old age struggling to hold on to life, it is strange that my brain reverts to the image of him as a puppy. He was so small back then; you wouldn’t have believed that someday he would be taller than my dad’s hips.

Oliver and I grew up together. We were young and fearless playing in the yard together. We would have stayed outside together all day if my mom had permitted us to. When we would come stomping into the house she would always shriek at the muddy mess we had made. I remember apologizing for the both of us, and then doing it again the next day. Back then, when we were both no more than babies, I didn’t know that pets grow old much faster than humans do, or that I would someday have to let go of my friend.

As I grew old and more restrained Oliver mellowed too. He no longer nipped at my pants and shoelaces when I walked around the house. Instead he learned to lounge on my bed or the couch as I did homework. I remember being jealous of him at times. We grew up together like siblings but I had so many responsibilities and he still got to do whatever he wanted all day. It was about this time that I began to think of the possibility of losing Oliver. I saw a dog that had been hit by a car once, and I began to picture how horrible it would be if someone came knocking on our door one night to tell us that our dog was dead.

As both Oliver and I matured; I found myself having some of the same energy I had when I was very young. In our last years together, I would play ragtag games of sports with friends; running around and kicking balls together. Oliver, on the other hand, seemed exhausted all of the time. He would lay his head in my lap and I’d be trapped on the couch for hours until I had the heart to displace him. My once vibrant friend became so lethargic we began brining his meals straight to his napping spots to encourage him to eat. Eventually, he got so sick that he didn’t even stand up to go outside anymore. My dad found too many accidents in the house. That was when my parents began talking to me about putting Oliver down.

The first time I saw Oliver was nothing like the last. The memory of him full of life haunts me because it is nicer to think about than the image of his lifeless body. He drooped too quickly after they gave him the medication. I hardly had a moment to catch my breath before he took his last. I had my hand on his abdomen; comforted by the rhythmic rise and fall of his stomach; and then it stopped. When Oliver was a puppy, I never could have felt his breathing that clearly; the rest of him would have been wriggling around too much. But when Oliver was lying on that cold, harsh metal table, his pained breaths were almost too distinct.

Oliver helped shape me when I was a child. He was one of my first friends and the only consistent ally I ever had. No matter what, Oliver was always on my side. Whether my mom was mad at me or my friends went out without me; Oliver was always right by my side; that’s why coming home without him last Thursday was so devastating. There was no one to follow me to my room or hog the bed space. I was so used to having to take close care of him that I hardly knew what to do with myself when we rolled into the driveway and I was forced to be alone with the memory of losing Oliver. Every inch of my house contains the memory of a shenanigan that I completed with my partner in crime. I know I will always miss him, but I am so thankful that we got to grow up together.

My two memories seem conflicting but they are the same. Both were amazing journeys I shared with my friend. The first time I saw Oliver was a happy adventure. That first venture lead to many more. The last time I saw him was the journey to new things for both of us.