Finding AA, Essay Example

Life is difficult without some kind of support system. I found this out the hard way by making some bad choices early in my life. I managed to lose all my supportive friends and families but chose drugs and alcohol over everything. Luckily, I was able to find the help I needed to get my life back with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. This simple program gave me a reason to change my life and create a future better than I could have ever imagined.

I first tasted alcohol when I was 11 years old. The memory is still clear as day when my cousin Jamie and I took vodka into our snowballs to act like we were drinking daiquiris. As they say, the rest is history, as I spiraled with every other pint that I took. I can trace my drinking habit to when my father died in a road accident on my 5^th birthday. His death was primarily caused by drunken driving and almost caused the driver’s death with whom he collided. From that point, I lost my purpose and tended to be reckless, partially to punish myself for a mistake I did not commit and because my mum was soft and could not contain my degressions. I also felt like taking alcohol and drugs helped me glide through the pain that came with losing my father, with whom we were very close. As a nurse, my mother could only give me prescription pills hoping that I would get better, but I never did.

Of course, they calmed my nerves, but my bitterness, hate, and pain were so deep that no drugs would help me overcome them. It seems she had a pill for everything you could imagine. If my head hurt, she had a pill for it; my stomach hurt, she had a pill for it; my toe hurt, she had a pill for it. I quickly came accustomed to taking a pill anytime I didn’t feel completely normal. The problem with that was that I got so used to taking pills I didn’t feel normal unless I took a pill. By age 13, I had tried several different drugs and drank alcohol regularly. A mother found empty vodka bottles in my closet one day, along with an ounce of marijuana inside one of my stuffed animals. She put me in rehab, which isn’t one of the best life experiences I can attest to. This is my first encounter with Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I first entered Alcoholics Anonymous, I was frustrated because it was clear that I was the only teenager in the program. I would attend group sessions three times a week for three months. While in these sessions, I found out I was not just a normal teenager acting out. The more I participated in the program, the more it dawned that I was truly an addict, and the damage was greater than I had anticipated. It was right to say that I was on the cliff’s edge, and my fall-over was just but nigh. My first time in rehab was a great success as I stayed off drugs for quite a while. Then I would never be able to drink or use without it ruining my life. The second time I was taken for rehab, I was much older and no longer a child. This time I was 25 and had two children. The case this time around was not just drug abuse but also peddling. It was going to be a short while before the long arm of the law caught up with me. This time it was different, though. I found a sponsor, and she taught me how the program really works. “It works if you work it” is one of the phrases used in the program. There are a set of guidelines set for you in the book the program itself is very simple. As long as you are able to be completely honest, you will never have to use it again.

Looking back, I believe that the AA/NA program saved my life. By the time I went back to it, I had already lost everything: my job, sobriety, focus, and optimism. I lost my job because I stole money from the company to finance my lifestyle. When my husband could no longer keep up with my drinking habits, he took my kids away with him, something that I have never blamed him. My entire family turned their back on me because of my drug use and because I embarrassed them. Even though I didn’t have a penny to my name or a place to stay, people in the AA/NA program accepted me just the way I was. They welcomed me with open arms. My sponsor found a halfway house for me to live and they helped me find a job and get back on my feet. Once again, I developed sobriety, and my life was right back on track until I was involved in a car accident and was back on pain pills.

I thought I could handle my addiction because it was different this time. This time I wasn’t using to get high. I was using it because I was in serious pain. Although I did have a valid prescription, I quickly started to use other drugs. I lost everything again. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. I was arrested again. This time, I was nabbed for prostitution. My self-confidence was cut into pieces, and I became so ashamed, considering my age and the far I had come. My drug use had gotten so bad I sold my own body to get money for drugs. This was the final straw for my family. They completely deserted me, which pushed me back to the point of having suicidal thoughts. I was in an abusive relationship with the man who forced me to prostitute and give him the money. Whenever he sensed that I was planning on leaving him, he would turn violent and beat me up, kid. The abuse was worse than I ever could imagine. I truly thought he would actually kill me one day. And my kids would have to hear about my death on the news, or even worse, he would kill me, and then my body would never be found. All of these things led me to my rock bottom I just decided I would try the rehab option again since it was the only way out for me, the only place I had found my salvation.