Forcing Gender Roles on Children Is Unhealthy, Essay Example

Aiming for Healthy Attitudes and the Elimination of a Gender-Constructed Society How forcing gender roles on children is unhealthy by Debbie Taylor for Mslexia Magazine

At an early age, children start to recognise their own behaviours, likes/dislikes and start to form general outlooks on the world around them. Young children are not often able to express their opinions on the items that parents purchase for their use. In fact, parents begin buying toys and clothes for their infants before they are born and these items are usually based on the sex of the infant. Thus, a baby boy will have toys, clothes, blankets and room decorations that prescribe  to the gender oriented definition of that of a boy. These items are usually full of “masculine” imagery, such as cars, trains, tools, superheros, among many others. In relation, baby girls enter a world full of pretty princesses, flowers, dresses and domestic-related toys.

Children are born to a society with rigid and stereotypical gender roles. From the very beginning, they are shown, told and sometimes forced how to look and behave, consequently learning to live their lives based on what others think is appropriate (Watt, 2013). Gender is not biological, it is a societal construct, and we as a society want our children to fit into the perfect ideals we have scripted for them long before they entered this world (Glenn, 1999). It may be difficult for most parents to understand why this is a problem, or how gender roles can harm their child or possibly lead to their child living an unhappy and unfulfilled life. More often than not, parents see their child as the perfect version of themselves, and in turn put real and harmful societal pressures on their young child.

Think about it this way—your baby girl, your little “princess”, as you like to call her, does not actually like to play with “girl” toys. She doesn’t like princesses and has shown a greater interest in boy characters and toys. Her entire life so far has consisted of gifts and products aimed to make her feel feminine and delicate, but she does not actually feel that way about herself. She is getting older and starting to recognise the world around her beyond the scope of her home. It is becoming evident that what she enjoys is not quite in line with what society wants her to enjoy. Actually, what she wants is to rip out that giant bow in her hair and play in the dirt with dinosaur toys.

If you think about forcing gender roles in an accumulation of repetitive, daily events, children experience a constant stream of gender bias. A little girl does not want to wear a dress, but she is forced to wear it for picture day at primary school, and in the process, the photographer and teachers say, “Smile, Princess”. This may seem completely innocuous however all of these events start  to build up in the child’s psyche. She now has knowledge of how to act in order to receive the “right” kind of attention from others, but at the same time she is subscribing to a way of life in which she is not comfortable or happy. She does not want to be a seen as a princess, but she knows this is what makes other people happy, so she learns how to comply. Compliance has been a societal and behavioural norm for females for many years, and it is a trait that comes with many negative consequences.

This is equally, and quite possible even more harmful to boys who see themselves as not particularly masculine. Boys are boys, right? They grow up to be strong, manly and important. This type of thinking is incredibly harmful to young boys and girls. In an op-ed article for Waging Nonviolence, Frida Berrigan describes her experience raising a son who does not identify or what to subscribe to a masculine gender role. Her son Seamus wants to wear dresses and tutus, because why not? They are fun and pretty and, most importantly, wearing them makes him happy and joyful. Is that not the point of parenting? To provide a safe space in which your child is happy, strong and confident. She also brings up the fact that many of Seamus’s friends, both boys and girls, find tutus fun and want to play dress up with him. This brings Berrigan to the obvious conclusion that the problems that arise from letting her boy wear tutus and dresses. Is usually fear and confusion among indoctrinated adults. She explains that adults are not eager to accept this type of behaviour and criticise her for letting her son “act like a girl.” She does not see it that way—she believes that her son just wants more options out of life and has decided at an early age that he will pursue those options, whether they be pigtails and tutus or dinosaurs and dirt, Seamus can make up his own mind.

Yes, it is difficult to navigate your way through life without conforming to a gender role and acting accordingly. It’s not without saying that life might actually be difficult and scary if you or your child do not subscribe to the society-planned role of your sex. That is why many new parents are starting to limit their purchase of gender identified items for their children and adopting a gender neutral parenting method (Rahilly, 2013). Gender neutral parenting essentially lets kids choose how they want to explore the world around them. There really is no prescribed method beyond just allowing your kids to be who they want to be without interjecting any bias or views of your own. It really is that simple. This can ensure that boys and girls are raised in a nurturing environment where they can experience the joy of being a kid instead of a gender construct.

References

Berrigan, Frida. “Why I Let My Son Wear a Dress.” Waging Nonviolence. June 28, 2015. Accessed September 5, 2015.

Glenn, E. N. (1999). The social construction and institutionalization of gender and race. Revisioning gender, 3-43.

Rahilly, E. P. (2015). The Gender Binary Meets the Gender-Variant Child Parents’ Negotiations with Childhood Gender Variance. Gender & Society, 29(3), 338-361.

Watt, A. T. (2013). From the Inside Out: Creating a Culture of Acceptance for Gender Variant Children (Doctoral dissertation, University of British Columbia).

The context in this piece is that of a challenge, meaning that people should challenge their beliefs and truly think about how they formed their ideas and constructs about what it means to apply gender constructs to everyday life. When individuals are able to see past stereotypes and prejudices, one can live a fuller and more authentic life and in turn, pass on to their children  those same attitudes and values.