How to Really Listen to Others, Reaction Paper Example

Introduction

This essay is a discussion of my listening experiences observing the listening skills of another person and ultimately critiquing my own listening techniques with the aim of objectively improving my listening process. Listening is a skill everyone must develop. In my opinion it is mastering self-awareness

Section 1 – My Observation of Someone’s Listening Skills

My observation of another person’s listening strategies was derived from a number of sources. Essentially, the YouTube video recommended was one medium as well as observing people in my immediate environment, when I speak with them or as they interact with others were the other sources of my observation. Before, really identifying listening styles from the YouTube video or personal observations, I was prompted to reflect on my own opinions formed by just looking at people when they interact with each other. If listening is truly giving the other person speaking undivided attention, then from my observation people, seldom listen. Listening is really making meaning from sound (Ted Talks, 2011).         .

For example, from observation it  was noticed that some people would not relate the eye contact technique. When communicating, their eyes wander in the environment not making any contact with the person speaking. Their facial expressions foretell that their attention is focused on something beside what is being said by the other person. A few minutes later when they  are asked to follow up on the information transmitted it is realize that ideas were not received because no listening occurred. For me people who listen when someone is communicating energy transmitted, which is felt by the one speaking recognizing that listening is occurring (Schilling, 2012).

Another observation pertains to a person’s body posture, which indicates the level of listening within a conversation. Non-verbal cues are important listening indicators. For example, if when communicating with someone he/she tries to interject the conversation with material that is irrelevant to the subject, for me there are listening difficulties. This is sometimes termed autobiographical listening. The individual with whom communication is being conducted is often preoccupied with his/her own circumstances. As such, he/she is too busy in mind to listen. More importantly, that  person needs to be listened to rather than listening to someone else (Giang, 2013)

Another profound observation surfaced after reviewing the YouTube video is that people often would not listen if the one speaking is perceived to be dishonest, without integrity and not authentic. Therefore, in the many situations when people seem not to be listening there is a preconception about the person talking as well as what is being communicated. As such, in the world of business observing people’s listening techniques, it can be concluded that people listen others they trust. Also they are in tune with conversations believed to be true (Ted Talks, 2011).

Section 2 – My Critique of My Listening Skills and

How I Can Improve My Listening Skills

Identifying my own listening weaknesses and designing strategies to remedy them towards becoming an effective listener is a significant self development. To have another person give you his/her undivided attention when  speaking, is very important as a leader in any business venture. In observing me over the past four weeks it was discovered that I tend to be autobiographical in my listening skill when communicating with peers. It meant that before they are finished explaining the contents of their concern often I would present my side of the issue without offering full attention to what is being said. It was discovered that this habit could become annoying because the issue could be so complicated that the other person requires of me just to listen. They are not receptive to me speaking. As such, the conversation ends up with two non-listeners.

To change this listening feature a decision was made to use eye contact when approached by someone who desires my attention to engage them. In such a way when looking at the person the temptation of interjecting with my similar story is less likely. Again it would be keeping the listener in the listener’s position without switching. For example, if I have to deliver a speech when the time for questions arrive a listener of my temperament would deny the audience listening opportunities. They would feel inadequate because they listened to me and I did not have the composure to listen them.

Conclusion

Reflecting on the YouTube videos, many valuable interventions were recommended for anyone to improve their listening skills and motivate others to listen to them too. My listening philosophy is if leaders cannot listen to staff it is very difficult for them to listened to when speaking. Therefore, besides practicing eye contact making an effort to develop the HAIL listening technique can be beneficial. Both the eyes and voice force people to listen because they are effective resources that communicate power and passion (Ted Talks, 2013).

Consequently, developing honesty in my listening communication is considered valuable. While eye contact transmits my honesty it also expresses whether the message I am transmitting is authentic or invalid. People then yearn for integritywhen listening is expressed. Am I being the values conveyed in conversation? Finally, always practicing openness in listening limits me from being judgmental, but loving instead (Ted Talks, 2013).

References

Giang, V.(2013).How to really listen to others. Retrieved on September 26^th, 2015 from http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-really-listen-to-others-2013-7

Schilling, D.(2012). 10 Steps to Effective Listening. Retrieved on September 26^th,2015  from http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/

Ted Talks (2013). How to Speak so That People Want to Listen. You Tube Video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI

Ted Talks (2011).Five ways to listen better.You Tube Video. //www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSohjlYQI2A