Language and the Pursuit of Happiness, Book Review Example

Language and the Pursuit of Happiness is much more than a self-help book for a generation of people unwilling to look critically at their own lives, independently, in order to determine the best ways to improve themselves and their relationships.  Although I was initially skeptical at Chalmers Brothers’ claim that his book could help me “create a balance that works” (Brothers, 2004, p. ii-4) in all aspects of my personal and professional life, I feel that I have been profoundly changed, on the most basic of levels, by my experience of reading his book.  It seems cliched to find transformation through a book that expresses such simple ideas, but perhaps that’s why I found Brothers’ work so revolutionary.  I use language in every facet of my life, countless times every day.  And yet, it wasn’t until I read Language and the Pursuit of Happiness that I understood the importance effect that my choice of words, my intention in speaking them, and the mood I am in (and the one people perceive me to be in) has on the people around me.

Early in his book, Brothers notes that “many of us–if not most of us–are very poor observers of ourselves” (2).  This simple assertion haunted me long after I read it, causing me to think back on the important and not-so-important moments in my life when I felt unhappy or ineffective.  Reflecting on those moments, I have since discovered that I played a key role in the negative reactions I might have received from the people I was supposedly communicating with.  This is because I was unable to properly ‘see’ how my actions were affecting those around me.  I was unable to observe myself through a clear lens, objectively and without negative emotion; because of this, I often repeated the same negative actions over and over.  My newfound ability to ‘see’ how language effects my relationships and my self-image will play a crucial role in all of my future interactions, and I now find, on a daily basis, that I look forward to interacting with other people because I now understand the positive ramifications of even the simplest of exchanges.  Just saying ‘thank you’ to a waitress or ‘hello’ to a stranger on the street can begin the most interesting conversations, and I am no longer fearful of making myself vulnerable to other people through language–instead, I welcome the possibilities of every single interaction.

As a clinical pharmacist, I spend a great deal of my time consulting with and advising clients.  Because of this, the manner in which I communicate is of the utmost importance.  I need to appear professional and knowledgeable so that my clients will trust my advice and feel assured that I am steering them in the right direction.  At the same time, I want to be a warm and inviting presence to help ease my clients’ physical and mental pain.  Many of my clients are quite ill, and that can make them difficult to deal with.  Like many people in physical pain, they are consumed with themselves and what they are experiencing.  This often narrows their focus to the point where they can see nothing except for their own physical condition.  Language and the Pursuit of Happiness has helped me to understand that language is perhaps the most important tool that I possess, even more so than my clinical knowledge and years of practical experience.  Brothers writes that

language is not only a descriptive phenomenon […] but it is also a

generative and active one.  Our language is an essential element in

constituting each of us as the unique observer we are […] Through

the power it grants us to make distinctions, and by enabling us to

make things happen, we are able to design ourselves as well as to

alter the world in which we participate. (Brothers i-2)

My new awareness of the manner in which language can enable us to step back from our emotions and view the world with a fresh perspective will assist me greatly in becoming a calm and healing presence to my clients.  I will no longer take their moods so personally, or feel as if I need them to ‘give’ me something in a conversation.  It is enough to know that I am there for them as a health care provider; that I am a competent person who is able to make calm and rational decisions that will positively effect my clients’ lives.  I’ve come to see that the limitations of my clients’ use of language and communication has very little, if anything, to do with me.  I am content now to help them achieve the best quality of life that I can, with no emotional strings attached.  I am also determined to not chastise myself too harshly for the ineffective ways that I used language in the past, for Brothers’ makes it clear that we must live in the present moment as much as possible and that not doing so “diminishes our awareness, our ability to listen, to shift, and to take action” (268).

Brothers’ book has provided me with many areas in which I can improve my clinical practice.  Primary among these will be my increased ability to communicate with my clients on a much deeper level, which will result in a greater level of care.  The “3-Circle Model” (133)  discussed in Language and the Pursuit of Happiness illustrated the importance of understanding how language is inextricable from our emotions and physical bodies.  Brothers writes that “our ‘way of being’ is one in which language, moods and emotions, and body are all linked and are all playing a part” (132).  This holistic approach will serve me well as a health care professional because it demonstrates that my clients are much more than just a list of symptoms or complaints.  I must do more than just listen to them; I must hear them.  This involves taking into account tone of voice, body language, and the things that my clients aren’t saying, which often means more to my assessment than what they do say.  Part of this has to do with the power dynamics that seem to exist between client and health care practitioner.  Many of my clients are elderly, and they seem more resistant to the idea that medical professionals and clients can exist on equal footing.  They seem determined to defer to my expertise, which is understandable, and works in certain situations, but is definitely not ideal.  My clients are ‘experts’ on their own bodies and experiences, and I hope that through improved communication I can demonstrate to them that we are members of the same team, rather than separate entities in a dynamic that gives me all of the power while leaving them with none.

The experience of reading Language and the Pursuit of Happiness has given me many new ideas about how to best interact with my clients so as to provide them with an optimal plan of action that tries to take into account both their medical needs and their need as human beings to communicate in a way that makes them feel valued and heard.  I will try to use Brothers’ Observer/Action/Results model to problem-solve with and for my clients.  This will require me to have more patience in my everyday interactions.  By living in the moment and paying close attention to my clients, I will become a more effective communicator and a better listener.  These improved abilities will enable me to gain a better overall understanding of my clients, which in turn will lead to a higher level of care in my clinical practice. I also intend to use what I’ve read in Brothers’ book to make myself more accessible to my clients.  Although I am always physically present when they are talking to me, I often still hold myself at a distance. Much of this stems from my need to be seen as an authority figure so as to give my clients confidence in my ability to objectively and subjectively assess them in order to prepare a comprehensive plan of action for their care. However, when Brothers’ asks “Who do you give the authority (permission) to assess you?” (169), it reminded me that the power structure of my relationship with my clients is not always conducive to effective communication.  While they are giving me permission to literally assess them, I also want them to feel free to assess my performance as a clinical practitioner. I no longer want to hold myself at a distance from them, or project an image of myself as someone whose knowledge and skill-set makes me superior to my clients just because they don’t have the same kinds of experiences as I do.  Brothers has demonstrated to me that the key to effective communication is the willingness to make myself vulnerable; I have to learn not to hide behind my official role and show my clients the human being behind the professional mask.  As well, I intend to embrace Brothers’ advice about both giving and receiving thanks.  Although I say ‘thank you’ countless times during the course of a day, I don’t often think about the meaning behind the words.  Brothers’ writes that “Thank You is […] connected to moods in a powerful way. We claim that the moodspace of joy is connected to gratitude” (197). I have a great deal to be thankful for, in both my professional and personal life; by acknowledging my gratitude, I will be claiming a more positive moodspace which will translate to a greater positivity at work that my clients will both appreciate and hopefully share.   This is especially relevant since many of my clients find it difficult to achieve joy given their medical conditions; thus, by projecting a happy and positive presence to them, I will hopefully help them to find new ways to connect to their own joy and gratitude.

The overall simplicity of Brothers’ message in Language and the Pursuit of Happiness made his book resonate with me in a surprisingly affirmative way. Prior to reading it, I really was not aware that I had any difficulty in communicating with those around me. However, I can now see ways in which my pharmaceutical practices will be infinitely improved because of my new outlook on communication in my clinical practice.  Sometimes the simplest lessons are the hardest to learn because they seem so obvious that it becomes easy to ignore them.  Fortunately, I now see the crucial role played by language in my interactions with other people, and I feel that this newfound awareness will make me a better clinical pharmacist in all aspects of my practice.

References

Brothers, Chalmers.  (2004) Language and the pursuit of happiness.  Naples, FL:  New   Possibilities Press.