My Dear Sister Annie,
First of all, I want to send you my warmest greetings along with mom and dad’s. Flitch came in last week and mentioned to us about what you and your family are currently dealing with. I know that somehow, this news is very hard to accept especially for someone who has been raised in a Christian family like ours. We have been taught that homosexuality is something that God detests and we have been lead to realize the he punishes those who do not adhere to this particular truth. I am not writing to change your attitude towards God nor towards religion or the principles of Christianity.
I wrote to actually share with you something that I have learned about being or becoming a homosexual. Through my years of study and research, I have found out that there are several reasons to consider especially when it comes to dealing with individual developing homosexual characteristics. Sexual orientation is one’s choice based on his emotions with regards the intimate relations he wants to form with another individual [whether or not from the opposite gender]. There are actually different factors that are considered by experts such as psychologists to affect the condition by which one orients himself sexually as mentioned by Masters (1988) and his colleagues. According to the study of Young in 1964, some consider genitive factors, anatomical factors, hormonal balances and the birth order specifically pointed out on how the child has been taken care of while still in the womb of the mother. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not saying it is your fault, what I am saying is that it might not be your child’s fault either. There are other ways to deal with this manner than to actually just shun Flitch out from the family.
Understanding his situation is very important. For a young teenager like himself, your support or simply knowing you are there to listen to him is very important in the process of growth. You and I have shared our teenage years, we both know how it is to be confused during this time. Perhaps helping Flitch understand about himself more, to focus on his being and not his sexual preference would best help you and your family as you cope with this issue. Hearing him out and perhaps reasoning with him tactfully would lead him better into the path that is morally accepted in our family. You should remember though that pressuring him too much may not help at all. Just be there, listen and perhaps he’ll come around later. Just be there for him and let him know you care.
Young, Wayland. Eros Denied: Sex in Western Society. First paperback ed. New York: Grove Press, 1966, cop. 1964. 370 p.
Masters, William H., Virginia E. Johnson, and Robert C. Kolodny. Crisis: Heterosexual Behavior in the Age of AIDS. First ed. New York: Grove Press, 1988. ix, 243 p.
Janssen, D. F., Growing Up Sexually. Volume I. World Reference Atlas