Middle Childhood Unit, Research Paper Example

The four styles of child rearing are authoritarian where parents are always in control of the child by setting strict rules for the child to follow, authoritative where rules are set by the parents but the parents allow the children some room to explore and make mistakes. The third style of child rearing is called the permissive style where there is often avoidance of confrontation amongst the parents and the children and “the parents are softer than the democratic style of child rearing”. (Artisan, 2009). “Children who grow up under this style of child rearing often grow up to be bossy, self-centered and uncooperative.” (Artisan, 2009). The final style of child rearing is called uninvolved parental style of rearing which involves “parents’ focusing more time and energy on themselves rather than their children.” (Artisan, 2009). Children raised with this style of rearing seem to be neglected and are emotionally as well as physically estranged from their parents in some cases more than others. Children raised with this style of rearing usually grow up to be immature and exhibit low self-esteem. My parents raised me with a permissive and authoritative combination style of rearing which incorporated rules to follow, room to experiment but an avoidance of confrontation amongst parents and children. My mother would often cease to correct us and state, “I am going to turn this situation over to your father when he comes home from work”. Many of times she would forget except if the situation was really serious. As a result I grew up somewhat self-centered and uncooperative at times. I wanted to do things my way. I would call myself hard-headed at times. The authoritative style of child rearing taught me some self-discipline but the permissive style entered into the raising of me conquered the good things that the authoritative style taught me. As an adult now I am able to self-discipline myself and realize why my parents were attempting to set rules and guidelines of discipline to follow and why it was not wise for me to make my own rules. I was not emotionally mature enough to make my own rules at that time in my life. I needed to respect authority first and foremost.

It is very important that both parents be on the same page whilst discipline children so that children see that parents agree on disciplining techniques and there can be no change of plans once the discipline has been set. Discipline “will naturally vary at different ages”. (Sherman, 2010). Younger children need discipline to protect them from the evil world that lurks out there and older children need discipline to teach them right from wrong and keep them within boundaries to teach them morals and self-control.

It is not wise to overprotect children or to guide by laissez-faire. There must be a balance in order to have a balanced child. It is up to either parents or a single parent to find this balance. Not only making the punishment but sticking to the punishment is important to making the child feel secure and to live a healthy and self-disciplined life now and in the future. The most respected way of discipline children would probably be the authoritative style of child rearing for it sets boundaries and rules to follow yet encourages children to explore and make some mistakes of their own.