When the Word “Survival” Comes, Essay Example

When the word “survival” comes into mind, there is only one picture that I can draw, that day when I had to fight for my life [or so I thought] and had to make a choice that has changed my life forever. It all started with the chaos that placed me in an unstable situation; one where I had to make abrupt decisions if I really wanted to live.

Today, I managed to find a jug of water, a bag of apples, and some canned food; things are much better now. But up to this day, I still remember how it all started. It has been several months since the trouble in my city started, and most of the city is in ruins..

I remember back when I first heard the explosions, followed by the emergency broadcast that our city was under attack and that rebels were already swarming into the area where I live. It was as if everything happened without warning; I was even thinking how supposedly it would be a perfect day for me, when that broadcast had to ruin everything else. Upon realizing the situation, I quickly raced down the stairs and ran outside and saw that my city was under attack.

It appeared that they were aiming to destroy the downtown district, so I immediately ran back into the house to grab some of my important things. I knew that I would need food, water, and a weapon for personal defense. However, shortly after grabbing all of my supplies and piling them in my backpack, there was a loud, rapid knocking at the back door. It was my friend, John, who lived three houses away. He had decided that it would be smarter and safer if we stayed together. John had also brought his good friend Mike along, whom he said we could trust, and who would be useful to us since he was a construction worker. Although I was having doubts, “yeah, sure,” I said, reluctantly agreeing to his plan.

I decided that it would be better if I stayed with them for a while and worked together. I walked out of the room and saw the portrait of my brother in the empty hallway. *I remembered, a few years back when my brother and I had trusted a stranger and paid a high price. My brother was dead, and it seems just like yesterday I had to attend his funeral.* without warning, I heard the door close, and I instantly tore my eyes away from his portrait.

We agreed that it would be best to stay at my house, so later that night we set up shifts so that we could take turns sleeping and guarding the house. As I lay on the couch trying to get some sleep before my shift started, I could hear the terrifying explosions in the distance, and knew that I would not be sleeping. Suddenly, I heard someone at the front door as his fists pounded the door, and then his foot thumped against the old wood. I got up to see who was there. I carefully looked out the dirt-streaked window beside the door, but I could not see anything. I cautiously opened the door and saw a middle-aged, man who looked about forty-five. He begged me to let him in. I did not know what to do, so I opened the door a little more.

“What do you want?” I asked.

He answered back, “The neighbourhood was setting up a watch that would help stop some of the looters and thieves.”

“Okay, what do you want me to do?” I asked.

“We could sure use some help setting up some barricades tomorrow morning,” he answered.

I responded, “I will try and be there to help.”

“Thanks,” he retorted and left with fear still in his eyes as if signalling how unsafe his move was and yet he did come to tell me what he needed to say.

I quickly closed the front door and locked it again. I walked into the kitchen and told the other two what had happened, and what the man had said. Then I uttered that we should prepare for the worst, because the unexpected might happen as people were already fighting for their lives; now we do not really know who our enemies are. Not only did we need to face the terror of being attacked by the enemies, but we also had to handle the pressure of dealing with mere survivors like ourselves and find a way to gain supplies they need to be able to live within the day.

The next morning came. After an early breakfast of some toast and cereal, I decided to get moving. When I showed up to help, no one was doing anything. No barricades were being set up because most people felt that it was better to try to leave the city instead of staying and fighting. We decided to try to get out of the city too. As we prepared to leave my home, the radio that we had been listening to suddenly stated that anyone who was caught trying to leave the city would be shot. We decided that it would still be best to get as far away from downtown area as we could.

“Just remember, the guards inside the city are armed with guns and are supposed to make sure no one escapes,” I whispered as we left the house. It took us several weeks to walk to the outer edge of the city since we had decided that it would be safer to travel at night, and rest and sleep during the day. The city was in turmoil, and most people were able to evacuate by moving west. There were fewer and fewer people in the city now, so we could move around easier. We managed to find a small, deserted apartment on the edge of the city that was still in fair condition. There was a lot of damage to the outside walls, but the inside was sound and liveable. We decided to set up a base and stay there for a while. However, we had to fix the exterior because there were several large holes that were big enough for anyone to walk in to hurt or rob us. John, Mike and I decided that it would be best to set up beds before fixing the exterior. Unfortunately, we had no supplies to make repairs with, so John and I made plans to scavenge the houses around us to find some basic items.

Later that day we realized that one of us would need to stand guard; we would have to work in shifts again. We decided that one of us would scavenge while the other guarded the house, while the third got some sleep. I volunteered to do the scavenging, and went from one abandoned house to the next. John decided to stand guard while Mike got some sleep and prepared for the night shift.

“That is the last of the supplies,” I said, as I dropped them to the floor. I was so exhausted I could not walk another inch. I had managed to scrounge up a couple of beds, bedding, food, water, and nails, wood and a couple of rusty hammers, to help us make repairs. We thought it would be smarter to set the beds and everything else up in the basement in order to make the place seem abandoned. We did not want to advertise that we were living in the compound. Slowly, we were able to make some repairs to the outside that would help keep unwelcome visitors out, and make it easier for us to guard.

Everything seemed to be going okay for us. Until today.

We were running out of food, and Mike wanted to try to leave the city, even though he knew that it was suicidal. He just snapped and could not handle living like this anymore. He felt trapped, and his nerves were shot and he jumped at every little sound. There was nothing we could do or say to convince him to stay – we just watched him walk away. Later that day, John and I decided that we should make our way to the supermarket a few blocks away to see if there was any food left inside. Once there, we drew sticks to see who would enter the market. I drew the shorter stick. I decided that it would be safer to wait a few hours and break in during the middle of the night. I checked my watch. It was 1:00 am, and I knew it was almost time to enter the market. I grabbed my trusty crowbar and quietly pried open the door. The inside was as dark as coal. I turned on my flashlight, and my eyes followed the light beam. I could see all of the aisles. I saw that there was food in aisle two, so I turned off my flashlight and tried to calm my nerves. I felt scared. I slipped back slowly into the shadows and took a few deep breaths and could hear the “thud thud thud” of my heart as I slowly crept toward the aisle where the food was. I bumped into a shelf in the dark and heard a clank, as a can of corn hit the floor, and I heard it rolling. I grabbed my pistol and got ready, because I was sure that anyone hiding in the store would have heard the can too. Abruptly, I heard the gas generator start, and saw the lights turning on. I stopped dead in my tracks, unsure of what to do next. Then, I heard several shouts.

“Who’s there?” “Leave us alone!” someone cried.

I knew we had to have food so I could not leave empty handed. Quickly, I ran to the shelves and shoved what I could into my backpack and ran for the exit. However, someone holding a large iron bar was blocking my escape.

“Drop the bag now, and you can leave unharmed,” said the unknown man.

I told him to get out of my way or else.

“What are you going to do,” asked the man?

It was at that moment that I realized what I had to do. I knew that I had no choice. I carefully raised my crowbar, aimed, and quickly swung it with all my might. As he slumped to the floor, I could hear cries coming from the back of the store so I quickly jumped over the man lying in front of me and got out of there. Screams of terror and agony arose from the store. Once I reached the outside, I looked back, and I could not believe my eyes. The corpse of the man was still gripping the iron rod. I see a couple of kids crying over him and yelling, “Daddy wake up!” What was I supposed to do? How could something go so horribly wrong? I realized that he was just trying to protect his family from me. I felt sorry for what I had done, but we needed the food.

The next morning, as I sat on my bed, I could hear the news broadcast saying that the army had arrived to assist in the taking back of our city, and relief helicopters were dropping supplies for everyone. They declared that the fighting was over. It was finally over. We were safe. That was when I started tearing up because I realized if I had just waited one more day before going to the market, I would not have had to kill a person yesterday and destroy a family. We all make our decisions, and now I will have to live with mine.

Looking back now, I realize two people died on that night. I have never forgotten that man, and I have nightmares about him every day and wonder how his kids are. It was as if I died myself, leaving my sane being in that supermarket, hoping to change how things turned out to be. I often question myself, what if I have just told him what I needed; that what I got was simply for survival? Would things turn out better compared to how they did? His blood is on my hands and his life is on my shoulders. The children he left behind, although they may have not seen my face would sure have something in their minds against me, and I would carry that in my heart forever. This taught me one thing; that survival could sometimes put us in a tumultuous position causing us to lose our sanity and rational thinking that makes us all human in the first place.