Parenting Styles, Personal Statement Example

I grew up living in a divided family.  My mother remarried a man that was very abusive to us.  Our mother  became indifferent to the abuse  that we suffered from our stepfather.  As such we ended up with two different parenting styles; that of the authoritarian from the stepfather and the uninvolved from our mother.  ” Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. “They are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation” (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62).” (Nancy Darling, 1999).

Owing to this physical and mental abuse that I endured as a child I became extremely angry.  This resulted in my getting into fights with no explicable reason.  The positive side from the abuse is that it built up my inner strength so as not to be afraid or give up my resolve.  In Adulthood it has made me  a better mother and wife.  I have learnt to control my anger and I have adapted this resilience to other aspects of my life.  The example of treatment from my parents directly influenced my adult behaviour to my spouse and children and made me more protective of them in ensuring they never had to endure similar treatment. ” If it is true that childhood attachment styles can predict the quality of adult interpersonal relationships, and if parenting styles reflect the same influence as attachment styles, then it seems likely that parenting styles should also predict relationship outcomes.” (Jennifer Neal, 2001).

In adulthood, when I became a parent, I was extremely nervous and I feared the concept of hurting or alienating my child.  As such I made extra efforts to ensure my child never had to experience the trauma that I experienced in  my childhood.  ” An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, they are generally detached from their child’s life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children”. (Kendra Cherry, 2010)

Works Cited

Jennifer Neal, D. F.-H. (2001, 9). The Effects of Parenting Styles and Childhood Attachment Patterns on Intimate Relationships. Retrieved 3 1, 2010, from Journal of Instructional Psychology, : http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FCG/is_3_28/ai_79370572/pg_2/?tag=content;col1

Kendra Cherry. (2010, 3 1). Parenting Styles. Retrieved 3 1, 2010, from About.com:Psychology: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

Nancy Darling, P. M. (1999, 3 3). Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. Retrieved 3 1, 2010, from @health.com : http://www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html