The Broken Cycle of Emotionless Home, Essay Example

Sometimes I watch my children and realize that they do not really care about what is going on in the world, knowing that I will be there to protect and love them. They never have fear of being hurt inside of their home. “Building trust with a child is important in helping him or her deal with fear” (Smith). However, my life was an absolutely different experience. I grew up with a constant feeling of fear, hate, and cold surrounded by emotionless parents, whose affections were shown once in a blue moon. I was constantly horrified that at any given moment my uncle would be there to harass me repeatedly. No member of my family ever hugged, kissed or showed any type of positive emotions. My children, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where expressing feelings and showing affection is, and have always been a common sight.

Fear became my everyday companion, my phobia. My uncle would be at the house waiting for me to make me do things no four or five year old should be made to do. Once he was done he would physically abuse me and threaten to kill me or one of my family members, if I ever spread the word about the issue. Moreover, he emphasized that nobody would ever believe me. Looking back at those awful days now, I feel like a battered wife. I can make this statement, due to the fact that when people would ask me of the nature of my multiple bruises I would say that I simply fell. Moreover, I also started to wet the bed around the same time this was happening. I unmistakably realized the reason for this problem. I was scared to death but not a single person even wondered about my troubles and problems. All I got was physical abuse that reinforced the fear that was already instilled in me, fear of adults.

“It takes a lot to care for a child “(Protecting our Children from Abuse and Neglect).My family showed no type of affection at all. “I love you” probably never even ran through the minds of my parents.  Needless to say, I do not remember ever getting a hug or a kiss from either of my parents. In fact, I was getting quite the opposite, by constantly being told how stupid and miserable I was. I used to watch television shows and would see how parents would hug and kiss their children and expressed their love towards them by saying tender and nice words. Once, I even inquired my parents about the absence of such affection in my life. I was told to shut up and go to bed.

When I started having children myself, I prayed to Lord to become a good parent. “The warmth and care love generates can never be replaced” (Coldfats). I established an open door policy for my kids. In other words, they can talk to me, express their feelings, or discuss a problem at any time of the day. I went out of my way to make them feel safe and loved in their home. One of my daughters even wrote an essay on how I made sure she had a great childhood and how she would always enjoy being a kid and take her time growing up. One day she approached me and asked me for reasons of my tender and loving attitude toward her. I took my time to tell her the story of my childhood. What she did next was the most beautiful thing that happened in my life: she gave me a hug, said she loved me and thanked me for protecting and always being there for her.

In conclusion, I want to state that a person is inevitably influenced by his childhood. However, what a person draws out of this life lesson completely depends on the person. It is in his power to make life of people around him joyful and affectionate, even if he had the very opposite experience.

Works Cited

Coldfats. The Importance of Love in a Marriage. 19 Jan. 2009. 27 Feb. 2009. < http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1225218/the_importance_of_love_in_a_marriage.html?cat=9>.

Smith, C. Fear in Young Children. 23 July 2008. 27 Feb. 2009. < http://www.healthychild.net/articles/sh54fear.html>.

Protecting Our Children From Abuse and Neglect. 2 Jan. 2009. 27 Feb. 2009. < http://www.apa.org/pi/cyf/abuse.html>.