The Psychological Issues, Article Review Example

The article named finding the one by James P. Delpino talks about the psychological issues present when one is seeking the right person for marriage or a relationship. Delpino explains how and why most marriages end up in divorce and the role played by interpersonal relationship pattern in contributing to failure of relationships. In order for a relationship to work, Delpino argues that an individual should work on themselves by seeking to maintain and improve their strengths and skills as well as minimizing their negative and undesirable behaviors and traits. Reflecting on this thought, I tend to concur with the author that most relationships fail because partners believe in finding the right person instead of them being the right person.

Most people in relationships tend to realize and focus on the mistakes their partners are doing instead of realizing theirs and try to correct them as a way of fixing the relationship. Since humans are naturally capable of initiating change through modification and reprogramming, every partner in a relationship has a responsibility of changing their views and thinking, regarding themselves and their partner.  Delpino explains clearly on the benefits achieved when individuals changes the focus to the person they seek for a committed relationship. One benefit would be the opportunity to discover what would be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. This idea is clear to understand and also applicable in almost all relationships. For example, when a husband in a marriage stops treating his wife miserably by going out for drinks and coming in late at almost all nights, he will have more quality time to spend with his wife such as going for dinner or cooking together and this would prevent arguments, misunderstandings and sorrows. It is therefore, true that the ability to distinguish personality from character is the single most important and beneficial skill when determining the right person to be with, in a relationship.

Similar to the article “finding the one” is an article “are you with the right mate” by Rebecca Webber. The article, which talks on how marriages fall apart after a couple of years, bases its ideas on relationships that are similar to those talked about by Delpino. One comparison made between the two articles is that, for relationships to work, partners should stop blaming the other and revolutionize themselves instead of trying to change the other. Webber states that people are responsible for the type of relationship they would want to have. Both the authors agree that couples in most relationships point fingers at their partners and blame them for their unhappiness. The other comparison made between these two articles is their view on love. Delpino says that when there is a couple, the possibility of creating a fulfilling and deep love is present. Additionally, he says that, with love in a relationship, people live longer and enjoy life more. Webber seems to think the same since she states that, with real love in a relationship, partners are able to handle conflict well resulting to their happiness.

One contrast between the articles is that, in some relationships, people may have chosen the wrong partner. According to Webber, people sometimes choose the wrong person and in this case a person who is not interested or capable of meeting their partner’s needs due to a number of reasons. Such people include substance abusers and cheaters. Delpino seems to differ with this view as he argues that individuals, who work on themselves through assistance of coaches and mentors, are better placed to succeed in most of their endeavors. In addition, the author argues that humans are adaptable and programmable and in a position to make an alteration. This view illustrates couples can always adapt and change their relationship since there is nothing such as non compatibility in a relationship.

Other identified contrasts between the two articles relates to the methods adopted for a successful relationship. Webber insists that, for a relationship to be successful, both parties would be willing to tackle the hard work of building and healing conflict. On the other hand, Delpino seems to believe that, for a successful relationship, partners should distinguish, as well as, identify both the personality and character of their partners through integrity as this will enable one in knowing whether their partner is the one.