Why Didn’t You Just Leave? Article Review Example

Why Do They Stay?

A person who has never been abused before wonders why the abused person won’t just leave. It hard to believe that leaving the situation can be more complicated and often more dangerous than staying. There are so many reasons why the abused remain in unhealthy relationships. They are facing so many conflicting emotions. The most common emotion is fear of the abuser. The abuser uses all types of threats to keep the abused frightened. In other cases the abused believes the abuse is normal. Sometimes people who are accustomed to abuse continue to perpetuate it when they are adults. The daughter of an abused woman may feel that this is the way that everyone lives. While the son of an abusive father may feel he must inflict abuse upon his wife. Embarrassment is often a reason for staying. The abused is so ashamed by what they have allowed to happen to them. They are too embarrassed to ask for help getting out of the situation.  In some cases, the abused are under the pressure of social, cultural, and religious restraints to remain in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes the abuser might be an authority figure in the community or church; thus, leading the abused to feel that no one will believe the allegations. Traditional gender roles can confine women to abusive situations. The list of reasons for staying in abusive relationships is endless. The women in the articles are no different.

The Wrong Question

Why won’t she leave is the wrong question to ask because a person who has never been abused does not understand how complex the situation is. It is very normal to say I would just leave. However, time and time again, we see violent murders have occurred when the woman leaves. When she finally builds up enough courage to leave, the abuser commits the ultimate act of violence against her. Often neighbors and friends are interviewed after the ordeal and they can relay just how terrible the abuse was and how long it lasted. The ultimate reason for staying in the majority of cases is just utter fear.

Surprises In the Article

I guess for me, there weren’t any surprises. I have known many people who have been in abusive relationships. When you know someone personally, you can see the logic behind their reasons for staying. I read the articles about isolation and money motives. Being isolated is the typical way to separate a person from people than can help them. I guess I was a little surprised that the victim was willing to be homeless with her abuser. The other abused lady who was willing to stay because of financial reasons. The surprise to me was that it was actually her money. Initially, I thought he was providing all the financial stability, but when I learned that he had nothing, that did surprise me.

Mindset Prior

Before reading the article, I was expecting to encounter more Caucasian women as victims than African-Americans. I was correct on that aspect, but I was expecting them all to be younger women with men who were older. However, the women were various ages with the youngest being 21 years old. I believed that few would be African-Americans because groups of minority tend to have close family ties. These family members will step in when they feel something is unhealthy or dangerous. Other groups don’t usually have this closeness.

Mindset After

My mindset remained the same after the reading because I know that anyone can become a victim to abuse. The use of manipulation can be devastating on the overall health of the victim for years to come.