The Law About Internet Censorship Should Be Established and Detailed, Article Review Example

In reading the following paper, are the writer has clearly stated the problem in the first paragraph. However, the problem lies in identifying a clear thesis statement, in which the reader will have further to read in the following paragraphs in order to comprehend. In outlining the problem, the last sentence in the introduction paragraph, the author can also provide more reasons into which the problem can have more support. The thesis statement in the paper is: “To solve this phenomenon, the law on internet censorship should be established and detailed, instead of indiscriminately blocking everything on the internet.” The thesis statement does provide who: China and what:  internet censorship, and the problem in which a clear law isn’t established.

The writer provides excellent examples, and also develops into solutions for the reader in order to solve the problem presented. The writer also offers examples of the law in which provides the issues that Chinese citizen face in complying with the Chinese law. In trying to develop an understanding, the writer uses the body paragraphs to build on the confusing and the lack of coherent detail on internet censorship with examples from laws enacted by the United States. The writer does a good job of organizing each paragraph to have a topic sentence, and stay focus on the how it relates to the thesis statement. In utilizing pathos, logos, and ethos, the writer provides examples of each to catch the reader’s attention, and provide a logic understanding of why censorship could be needed, but also a better structure of the law should be provided.

The paper does not use any quotations, but uses evidence of previous laws, and in which helps the paper. In the conclusion, the writer sums up their problems presented, and also restates the thesis, in which details how the Chinese government is starting to change their policy, and offers recommendations on how they can better improve. Overall the writer did a good job with the organization, providing examples, and supporting their thesis. The only criticism is to place the thesis statement in the introductory paragraph, as well as provide cited sources to offer greater support to the problem. The ideal is a great topic, and can also offer further research into the laws and the way the government works in China compared to the US.